I Believe God Told Me Who My Husband Is

What should I do? (And how do I know if it’s my flesh?)

I believe God told me who my husband is

I’m being asked this question a lot lately. A lot of women believe that God has shown them who their future husband is and are unsure of what to do and how to handle it. So with much thought, prayer and reflection on the things I’ve learned from my own journey of having successfully gone through this, I’ve outlined some things to do (and not to do) and ways to know if it’s your flesh. And if you’d like to read my testimony of how God brought my husband and I together you can read it here.

[Disclaimer: Before I begin, I want to point out that – Everyone is not going to know beforehand who their spouse is (God does it differently for different people). Everyone is not going to hear an audible voice saying “that’s him” or “yes” (in fact be careful of that audible “yes” because your flesh can speak as well and disguise it as the voice of  God). And everyone is not going to have a dream(s) (many people have dreams and those dreams fail).]

  1. It is the man’s job to pursue/find the woman, so wait.

God’s word says in Proverbs 18:22, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.” That means the man has to come pursue you. You have to allow God to reveal it to him and give him the go-ahead to begin pursuing you. It doesn’t matter how many confirmations you’ve gotten or how strong you believe it in your spirit, God’s word does not change; you are to wait for that man to pursue you. God told me two and a half years prior to my now husband approaching me about being his wife. Guess what I had to do in those two and a half years? Wait. If you believe that it’s truly God then you need to have the faith that God is able to tell him just like He told you. Even if things look completely opposite in the natural, have faith.

And don’t say you’re having faith while trying to give the guy hints and get all up in his face unnecessarily. Unless you want that relationship to be founded on flesh (seduction) or you want to mess up what God has planned, don’t do it (I talk about this more in #5). God didn’t tell you so that you can go tell him and start pursuing him. Your job is to simply wait and treat him like any other brother in Christ.

  1. If he does know (or you believe that he knows) that you’re his wife, don’t pressure him.

Let God give him full assurance of this and let God lead him on when and how to begin pursuing you. You want to make sure that he has FULL assurance so there won’t be any flip-flopping or going back and forth in your relationship about whether or not you two should be together. The last thing you want is a man who’s not sure if he wants to marry you; the results can be devastating. Don’t try to nudge him to go in the direction and pace that you’d like to go, give him space to LEAD as God leads him. Men are called to be the leader. As women we have a tendency to think we know better, we know what to do, and how to do it. But if we’re not careful we can take the reins and begin to lead in our relationships instead of allowing the man to lead. When you begin to do this you’re planting a seed in your future marriage that could cause a lot of chaos.

  1. Seek God for confirmation.

If God doesn’t give you confirmation right away, don’t be anxious about it; it simply may not be time to know more. Put it on the shelf. However, your greatest confirmation is for it to come to pass. Regardless of all the dreams, signs, and other types of confirmation you receive, if it does not come to pass all those confirmations mean nothing except that you heard wrong. I’ve heard of and know of other women who thought they heard from God regarding who their future spouse was to be, they got many “confirmations” and it turned out not to be from God at all because it didn’t come to past and/or the guy married someone else.

  1. Be very careful who you tell.

This is very important. Don’t go telling everybody who is willing to listen. I wouldn’t even advise you to tell all your close friends; all of them really don’t need to know. My Pastor told me during my time of waiting and knowing that the more people you tell, the more opinions you have to battle with and the more seeds will be planted in your heart regarding what you believe God told you. I’ve seen situations where a girl will believe she knows who her husband is and half the people in the church will know, not because God showed them too, but because she told them. I never understood that. There are some people who may tell others because they want it to be known by all the other women that such and such is “taken” so they shouldn’t try to think he’s their husband too (which is silly and shows a lack of faith). But this is only a recipe for disaster. First off, if those people you tell are not mature enough to keep secrets, it will spread and eventually get to the guy’s ears. Secondly, if they’re not spiritually mature enough, you could end up getting false confirmations from them or the people they tell that you don’t know they told OR they could give hints to the guy. False confirmations will only lead to false hope. You don’t want any false confirmations; you want real confirmations from God.

Instead of telling all your friends (or half the church), choose people who you consider as wise counsel to keep you accountable and who can pray with and for you regarding it. It could be your pastor, a mentor, a female leader in your church, or a mature sister in Christ – someone who you trust and look up to spiritually. I chose to tell my pastor and a few other leaders in my church (once I was sure that this word was from God) so that if they saw me slippin’ and trying to get too close to Davon (who then was just a brother in Christ) or saw me acting in my flesh in any way, they could tap me on the shoulder and tell me to watch myself. To me that was wise. I didn’t want to put any confidence in my flesh or give the enemy any room to play. “In the multitude of counselors there is safety” (Prov.24:6). And I told my friends when I felt led to tell them, and in fact, for nearly the first year and a half of the two and a half years that I knew, none of them knew – and when I did tell them, I only told TWO of them. Trust me, when it comes to pass you’ll get plenty of chances to tell everybody how you “been knew,” LOL.

  1. Be careful and mindful of your interactions with him.

This is another important one. In other words, don’t try to act in ways to give him hints and clues to get him to know. When you do that you’re pretty much saying, “God I know You gave me this word but I really think that You need my help to bring it to pass, so let me help You out a little bit. By you trying to give him tips and clues it shows that you don’t really trust God to bring it to pass.

One thing God showed me about that when I was in my waiting-doubting-faith process (yes, it was all of those things in one) was that you’re really operating in a spirit of seduction when you try to go around the guy more, try to get closer to him and try to give him hints and clues to point him in your direction. You’re seducing (persuading) him with your charm, good looks, intellect, or whatever, to get him to look your way and notice and take an interest in you. You’re pretty much being a stumbling block to him. When you “catch” a man with your flesh, you’re going to have to continue to use your flesh to keep him. Your flesh is literally going to be the foundation of that relationship. When your good looks, charm, or whatever it was that you used to catch him fades or he no longer takes interest in them, nothing will make him stay with you; he’s disinterested now (but a real man of God would not even fall for that). You want the foundation of your relationship to be the Word of God which never fades away! The word that God spoke to you, He’s able to speak to him. Be patient. When he receives that word, he’s now bound to that word which God spoke. That will create a much greater covenant than your looks could ever create. And yes he will be attracted to you physically but you don’t want that to be the only thing that sends him your way. You want to make sure that he knows that he knows that he knows you are his wife from the Lord!

Now you may already be close to him or have a friendship with him. That’s good. I’m not saying to separate yourself from him. What I’m saying is let your friendship remain as it is and let it develop NATURALLY. Not by force. Don’t try so hard to get it to be how you want it to be. Don’t try to force your way into his heart. If y’all talk every so often, keep it like that and let your relationship develop at the pace that God wants it to develop at. In my case, I didn’t have a relationship with Davon when God revealed to me that he was to be my husband. He was honestly just another brother in the church; I didn’t know him much at all. But one of my prayers during that time was, “Lord if this man is who You say he is, then create a situation where we can become friends cause I don’t want to marry someone I’m not friends with.” That was one of the confirmations that I requested from the Lord. And sure enough, months later, I transferred to another college which happened to be his university (unbeknownst to me). My church had something back then called “Go Get Cain” which was pretty much us evangelizing together on our college campuses between and after classes. The first few times we did it, it was myself, Davon and 1 to 3 other people. After a few weeks, no one else had time to do it with us so most days it was just me and him. Look at God! I didn’t force it, I didn’t ask him for his number, I didn’t try to find out where he was so I could coincidentally be there at the same time, etc. As I was being obedient to God in doing what He placed heavily on my heart to do —evangelize on my college campus – we were able to NATURALLY develop a friendship. GOD SET IT UP! I didn’t set it up, God did. He answered my prayer and that for me was a huge confirmation. And ever since then we remained friends up until the time he approached me about being his wife.

My point here is, don’t get in the way of what God is doing, put your flesh to the side, and let God lead you in your interactions with the guy. As you obey God in what He has you doing He can naturally allow you to develop a friendship. Let God write your love story; don’t take the pen out of His hands. Only He knows your ending form your beginning.

  1. Don’t be anxious about it and keep your emotions in check.

Don’t let it become your focal point and be consumed by it. Worrying about it is not going to make it come any quicker. He really didn’t tell you so that you could worry about it. If you really believe that it’s God, choose to have faith instead of fear and worry. And it’s natural to be excited about marriage but don’t allow it to become ALL you think about. Letting your mind become consumed with thoughts about the dress, the ring, your future home, and children, how he’s going to propose, being in his arms, your first kiss, etc. will only cause you to not be able to hear from God clearly. Your mind will be cluttered. That can be dangerous especially if you’re not completely sure if he is your husband. All those thoughts are only a breeding ground for false confirmations. Your excitement will make you think certain thoughts are from God when really they’re from your flesh. And then on top of that, they will be a distraction from your relationship with God. So whether you believe it’s God or you’re not completely sure, letting these thoughts run rampant will have a negative effect on your relationship with God and in your real life because you literally have your head in the clouds all the time. Those thoughts will only grow in your mind more as you feed them and will eventually lead to lust and idolatry. You don’t want that, so once again: keep your emotions in check.

And no, it is NOT ok to have lustful thoughts about him even if you’re sure he is your husband. Lustful thoughts unchecked will lead to even more lustful thoughts, sexual dreams, and will lead you to eventually want to act out the thoughts through things like masturbation and may cause you to start being a stumbling block to your brother. Put absolutely no confidence in your flesh. One advice that a wise woman of God gave me concerning the issue of lustful thoughts was to see him as my brother. In actuality, until you are married, he is still just your brother. Seeing him in that way will help you to keep the thoughts in check. 1 Timothy 5:1-2 says, “…appeal to older men respectfully as you would your own father. Treat younger men as you would treat your brothers. Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters.”

  1. Put it on the shelf and continue to seek and serve The Lord

Put it on the shelf and leave it there. If it be of God He’ll bring it to past in due time. Like my Pastor says, “you do not have to police it.” Meaning you don’t have to monitor the word, watch over it, or anything like that; it’s God’s job to watch over HIS WORD. Isaiah 55:11 says, “So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.” It’s His word so it’s His job to perform it (bring it to past).

So rest; continue to be about your Father’s business. Don’t waste your singleness waiting for or worrying about a husband. Put the time to good use. There’s so much more God wants to do in your life in this season of singleness. Go on some trips, have some sleepovers with your sisters in Christ, have group Bible studies, have hours and hours of uninterrupted worship time, evangelize, minister…be about your Father’s business!! There’s sooo much you could be doing right now. Your life isn’t all of a sudden on hold once God tells you who your husband is only for it to start back up when you get married. No. If you don’t know what to do, ask God what He wants you to do in this time. Most likely it will involve you getting closer to Him because whatever He wants to pour into you now you will need for your next season. Once you get married you’ll have less time to yourself, so use the time wisely.

  1. If you’re not completely sure, keep an open heart that you could be wrong.

Don’t have a tight grip on it; we’ve all missed God at one point or the other. When you’re not sure about something that you believe God told you it’s wise to keep in mind that you could be wrong. When you have an open heart about it you’re more likely to hear the truth about it from God because you’re not fixed on it and you don’t have a tight grip on it. It’s better to err on the side of caution and say in your heart that you may be wrong until you’re sure than to immediately assume you’re right without solid assurance and to later find out that you were wrong all along. And if you find out that you were wrong don’t beat yourself up, learn from it so you don’t repeat the same mistake and move on.

How to know if it’s your flesh:

  1. You have a pattern of thinking one person is your spouse, which proves to be wrong, and then you move on to another person, then another, then another: Stop!! There’s a deep-rooted issue here. You’re trying to force yourself into a season of marriage when God is clearly saying it’s not your time. Marriage has become your idol. You’ve had dreams, received words, saw visions, and got “confirmations” about all these guys that you thought were your husband at one point and they ALL proved to be false. Clearly, there’s something wrong here, your flesh is deceiving you. Let God take that issue out of your heart and teach you to be content in the season that you are in.
  1. You are desperate to be in a relationship and desperate not to be alone: You keep finding yourself in the arms of some man. You can’t seem to be able to stay single and enjoy it. This is a huge issue because often times when you’re desperate the enemy will send a counterfeit — an Ishmael to fulfill your desire for a man and you’ll end up walking right out of God’s will for your life and acquire all these issues because of it.
  1. You’re willing to compromise just to be with someone: So you convince yourself that this is who God has for you. When you’re willing to be with someone at all costs (even a particular person that your heart is fixed on), your mind will literally LIE to you and tell you that God “said” this man is your husband. And because you want it so bad you’ll run with it. Mortify your flesh. Put your desires on the cross. Fast and pray for God to remove it; it could end up ruining your life.
  1. You’ve gotten several red flags but you’ve been ignoring them: I know this should be obvious but some people really do ignore the clear red flags. PAY ATTENTION to the red flags!!
  1. Insecurities: Your insecurities constantly drive you into the arms of a man or constantly have you thinking about a man. Chances are that God wants to heal you of those insecurities before He begins to deal with you about a husband.
  1. God has not been dealing with you about being married to an earthly husband and it’s clearly not your season for it: Sometimes God will deal with you about marriage but it’s in regards to being married to Him, not to a physical husband. But some of us when we first hear Him talking to us about marriage we run with it and start trying to guess who our husband is, then end up with all these false dreams, false confirmations, and soul ties. Sit down and get further clarification from God because if you have not yet learned to be a faithful wife to God, you will not know how to be a godly wife to your earthly husband.
  2. God clearly told you he ain’t the one: (I know, I know, this should be sooooo obvious, but there are actually women out there who will disobey the voice of God when it comes to this.) Oh, he’s so nice and so fine, he’s such a man of God and he fits perfectly into your “list.” That still doesn’t change what God told you. HE AIN’T THE ONE!! And if that list is mostly carnal stuff then you might want to get rid of it ‘cause it’s leading you astray.  If you’re willing to disobey God even after He clearly gave you instructions, you have bigger problems than wanting a husband. If you’re disobeying Him with this I’m sure there are other areas where you’re being disobedient. Don’t let your flesh override what God has told you.

Update (February 28, 2019):

I have received so many questions and emails since writing this blog post. I just wrote a second part addressing some of those questions. Read ‘I Believe God Told Me Who My Husband Is – Pt. 2’ here: Part 2

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154 thoughts on “I Believe God Told Me Who My Husband Is

  1. Reblogged this on Transparent For Christ Movement and commented:
    Ladies! Do you believe that God has revealed to you who your future husband is, but you aren’t sure what you should do about it, if anything? Check out this new blog post by my wife, Deborah, to find out what to do next! She speaks from personal experience. God showed her that I was her husband two and a half years prior to Him revealing it to me!

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  2. That was powerful and eye opening sis, thank you for the encouragement and for the teaching and also for sharing your story with us.God bless you.

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  3. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I’m up at 5AM with chills because God is speaking through you to me . Wow. This is such a load off. Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for sharing, for helping sisters everywhere. Blessings to you.

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  4. Thank you so much,this was faith strengthening 🙂 I know since 10 years who my husband will be.It is very difficult to wait patiently and trust God tho your eyes see NOTHING happen. But I will hold on to God’s promise 🙂 I’ve told almost noone because I don’t wanted them to trample in my thin faith. It’s already difficult enough to trust in this since 10 years WITHOUT hearing silly comments 😉 I don’t need to hear”you’re running out of time” while I fight to still believe. But I’ve seen already too many miracles and too many confirmations from God.How often I thought “it makes no sense anymore” but EVERYTIME I want to give my future husband up…God is doing something amazing to bring us closer. My future husband is dealing with huge fear of intimacy. ..He does not know that I know. ..but God told me. Already years ago Good told me”He is afraid of you” but I did not understood his this could be. ..I’d never heard of fear of intimacy before. One day Good revealed it all to me in one moment.So now Iam here. ..Still waiting that God heals this wonderful man from his fear. So far we’re just friends. ..He lives on another Continent…and Iam somewhere between looking forward of how God will solve all this for us and sometimes doubt that my spouse will ever lose his fear. But writing this. ..I am ashamed because. ..I KNOW God told me and he is confirming in wonderful ways again and again. … even if I pray things like” Dear Lord…if I heard wrong and it was my own flesh. ..then please don’t let me ever marry him but end this” Again I get confirmations.And well. ..Looking back on these 10 years. …I must say. ..It was good.Painful but necessary. God adjusted us very much .Forgive me my English, I am not a native speaker. I would be glad of you ,who read this would pray for me and also for my spouse that he might finally lose his fear. Thank you so much 🙂 …And to those in waiting. ..Yes. ..It can take 10 years (but I guess that’s a special case) …but If it takes a while. ..but God confirms it again and again. …I can tell you for sure. ..The Lord will cary you through. He carried me A LOT the last decade and signs and wonders made it not just bearable but even let me dance because of joy in the midst of my pain. The Lord is always true and I decided to not trust in me,to not trust in my future husband. ..but to trust in my God. HE KNOWS BEST 🙂

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    • That is a powerful testimony. God revealed my husband to me 5 years ago and I did so many things wrong that I ended up suffering. Now I pray that I did not mess up completely. God has been screaming to get my attention and I was screaming to get the man’s attention. Again I thank you for your testimony and pray God sends your husband to you. God bless you.

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      • I am so blessed to read all. I remember 4 years ago God telling me that I would be getting married. I felt like every man could possibly be it. I myself messed up and got myself involved with my future husband. I recently stop and my heart is broken because I called myself rushing God. I’ve learned in reading your blog that I must trust God. Live like I’m living for the Lord. I’m now active in the ministry God has called me as and embracing the move of God. I was down today feeling in despair but I’m glad and I thank God for allowing me to read your blog and the lady above comment. It has encourage me greatly. I’m going to press my way through because it was only delayed but not denied. I thank you and I love you Women of God! Be blessed!

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    • Thank you for this post. I was actually planning to start a blog as a support group for women like me who knew who their spouse is before it is revealed. I figured to google and see if any exist and this one came up. I am so grateful for it. I have known since 2013 who my husband is, but figured it was my flesh. I told a friend and he said I should take my mind off it, which I did until 2015 I got a prophecy, and the lady told both me and the guy. This was confirmation to me, but news to the young man. I left the home and moved to another country, the friendship continued. Unfortunately, he backslid, and in spite of encouragement, he decided to still continue playing church. It became a burden to me each time he would share with me his involvement in sinful activities on Saturday then going to church on Sunday. This placed a strain on the friendship, so we do not communicate anymore. Now, I am in the phase as sis Deb suggested wait, but also be open to the possibility of being wrong. What has me a bit confused is just the lady that gave the prophecy didn’t know any of us, it was at a church that we had gone to visit and they called us up to pray for us and the Holy Spirit pretty much married us that Sunday morning (It was a confirmation that blew my mind…the way in which it was done). I wait on the Lord and see.

      I figured I was waiting long and naturally things were (are) not looking as if it is so, which has been a true test of faith. You have encouraged me with your post and the same God that has sustained you for 10 years, will strengthen you for the rest of the journey. However, I was given Is. 55, before leaving home as well…so we trust God for his promise.

      One thing I can assure us all of as waiting wives as that “If God has made a promise he will stand by it!”

      God bless you all.

      Until.

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  5. I had some dreams or visions, It all started right before my car accident in last year on October 8th. This man in my dreams and he he’s always there. He comforts me when I’m alone or sad, and he always put his arms around me. We also got married on the beach somewhere that looks like Oregon and we had children, a boy and a girl. And we live in a cozy house in the woods. Does that mean anything? I don’t know what to believe.

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    • Hi Kylee. If you’re not sure what those dreams and visions are about, put them on the shelf. When God wants to show us something He makes it VERY clear. It will not be fuzzy. Especially something as serious as marriage. As you continue to be faithful in your walk with God, when that time comes for you, your Heavenly Father who loves you dearly will make it very plain to you. He will leave no room for confusion. Continue to focus on God. ❤

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      • i had an dream a few weeks after God revealed to me who my husband is .. I was waling through a mall.. I looked hot by the way .. lol and music was playing in the electronics department… it was two old songs from the 1990’s love songs that had meaning .. one was saying.. ready or not .. Ill give you everything.. by after 7 and the other song was by levert.. baby im ready.. and i woke up like whoaaaaa… what a dream.. lol whewwww..

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    • My dear dat is a bad dream about spiritual husband.it is not gud to wed with an unknown man in d dream let alone having kids 4 him.pray dat God shud disconnect u from any spiritual husband

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  6. I have a friend from my prayer group who told us God revealed his future wife to him. He got his first confirmation from one of his church brothers and then from another member of our group. When I heard about it for the first time, I wondered why he didn’t mention that to me although we are close friends. Then out of curiosity, that night I asked God to let me know who his future wife is. I requested that I would dream about him and whoever is with him in my dream is the girl. That night I saw myself with him but the next day, I convinced myself it was just because of my subconscious. I could not accept it because I don’t wanna be with a younger man. I am 3 years older than him. However, as the days go by, I came to realize he might be referring to me because our mutual friend (who gave him the second confirmation) would sometimes act like a match maker for him and me. She also said that the girl has a biblical name and would keep on encouraging me to ask God for a revelation. I did for the second time and I dreamed that he was sleeping on my roommate’s bed—the bed right next to me. I am really filled with wonder because those were the only instances that I dreamed about him, when I prayed. Although he’s not saying it, now I could feel that he meant it was me. He asked for my standards and I when I said I want someone who will bring me closer to God, he keeps on doing his best to help me with my spiritual growth. Actually, he was already helping me even before he knew about it. Right now, I am just letting everything fall into God’s plan and I’ve already given up my principle to Him. If He wants me to be with this man who is younger than me, I need to accept it. I know that just like Jonah, I would never ever get away from His will. But I am trying not to give the guy some hints that I already know about it. We are still in the same prayer group and we still treat each other the same. No special treatments. Just waiting for the perfect timing.

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    • Hi Faith, don’t allow anything or anyone influence your mind or decisions. They may believe that you are his wife but until you get that confirmation and assurance form God don’t move. And don’t give hints or feed into it because that will leave room for false confirmations. Let God allow everything to take place naturally and let God show you. Don’t feel pressured to move on it until you are assured in what God said to YOU. God puts together marriages for a PURPOSE so He is very serious and very intentional when He does it. We can’t leave room for the enemy by playing around in the flesh.

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  7. This was an eye opener for me! Wow! God showed my bro in Christ hat I was his wife 4 years ago….He later begin to show me in dreams but we weren’t being still as we were taught to do. He would get into relationships then myself and we kept missing each other. I still have dreams about him to this day. He’s now engaged to be married. It’s hard to keep my faith knowing this….

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  8. Thank you so much for your post, Deborah! It was full of so much great wisdom and insight that I can apply to my situation. I just finished my freshman year of college. During the first week I was at school, God told me who my husband is going to be. But it wasn’t verbal. I didn’t hear the words, “That is your husband.” I didn’t ask God if he was the one and got a “yes”. I just kind of felt it. I wasn’t expecting it. It just happened. It’s really difficult to describe the sensation, and in fact, it’s really difficult even to recall it because I knew it was the Holy Spirit, so I cannot make myself feel it again. That is why I have been doubting it lately. Plus, I trusted the wrong people with that information. They haven’t told anyone, and I know they won’t, but they are trying to convince me either that I made it up or that if it’s true, it came from demons because God doesn’t give us revelation like that. So it was reassuring to read your story and know that God can speak to us like that. So I am curious, what was the experience like for you when God told you that Davon was going to be your husband? Was it verbal? Did you just know?

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    • Hello Sam, I’m not sure if you will see this reply, but I sure hope you do! When I read your comment, I couldn’t believe how much I relate to it… Last year around the same time as you (late August, early September), I felt the Lord reveal to me who my future husband will be. Just like for you, it wasn’t verbal. I didn’t ask God. I wasn’t looking for it or expecting it. The man is someone I have known of for around 5 years (he’s an acquaintance who lives across the country), but I spent several weeks around him last Fall and was able to witness his character and heart for Jesus. I definitely know he is the type of man I would marry… and the crazy thing is, I have never felt this way about anyone else. In fact, I’ve had relationships in the past and always felt the peace of God withheld. I knew those guys weren’t meant to be my husband. I too felt it and cannot fully describe the sensation. And just like you said, it’s even difficult to recall now because I just knew then it was the Holy Spirit and I cannot make myself feel it again. I wondered if I’d ever be able to have complete peace in marrying someone, because of past relationships and doubt, but I know the doubt in the past was placed in me by God, to keep me from going through with marriage to the wrong person. And with this man, I feel complete peace and would say “yes” if he asked me to marry him, without hesitation! But now, after months of no contact with him and no idea if and when I will see him again, I am questioning myself… Was it my flesh? Was it the enemy trying to trick and deceive me? How could I be so sure of something coming from God and be wrong. I have asked the Lord to guard my heart and keep me from having feelings for anyone except the man He intends to be my husband (because of painful past experiences and feeling like I do not want to mess around with my heart or anyone else’s). So if this isn’t the man, it confuses me and makes me wonder how I’ll know in the future if it is God or just me. And if it isn’t him, it’s not like I’ll get closure because this man never stated any intentions. I cannot explain it, but it really seemed he felt “it” too. The nonverbal communication was clear (not flirty at all). Anyways, just know you are not alone. Has anything further happened in your story? Praying the Lord would guide you and make His will clear to you as you wait upon Him.

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      • Wow! Your story sounds similar to mine! I totally understand how distance from him makes you doubt the feeling that you had. Being away from the guy God revealed to me now that we are on summer vacation has especally made me doubt whether my sensation almost a year ago was real. It also doesn’t help that he has had two girlfriends in the past year and is currently in a relationship now. We are good friends but he has never seen me as any more than that, and as time goes on, I get more and more worried that time will run out and he will graduate and go off into the world before anything happens between us (he is going to be a junior in college this upcoming school year). However, God did something kind of amazing in my life just this past week. I heard my old youth pastor preach in church a few weeks ago and felt the Holy Spirit for some reason nudging me to ask him to meet with me to give me wisdom about this situation. I put it off for a while, but finally I met up with him at his house this past Sunday and found out that God told his wife when they first met that they were going to get married! I got to hear his wife’s story and it was so similar to mine! The funny thing is that when things weren’t looking very promising in their relationship, the moment she let go and admitted that even if they didn’t get married she would be okay because God still had a plan was the very moment that her current husband realized that she was the one. It was an encouragement to me that I am not crazy, that the experience I had was real, and it was a good reminder that I ought not to take this situation into my own hands or get anxious if things don’t work out in my timing because God’s timing is perfect. It’s so encouraging to me to know that I am not alone! I hope you will see this and that it will be an encouragement to you too 🙂 Much love and peace!

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  9. This is an ammmazing post I should say!! Exactly nailing important points… God bless you !!! And I ve read so many blogs with the comments section pouring out negativity,but when I came down here…this one has been reblogged and been a clear blessing to many !!

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  10. This is very helpful for many of my friends who come to me asking for advice, at a young age I saw my husband now we’re happily married. I would tell any young women who are doubting if it’s true or not, that God has shown you the man your supposed to marry, to just sit back and wait don’t try and do anything on your own. Leave everything to God and you’ll find out if he’s the one or not easily. I had struggled with this. Many times I doubted what I heard from God. I went searching on my own and often gave up on the guy I was supposed to marry and ended up looking for someone else to marry, but in the end I gave up searching and looking and up on other guys. I told God if this is the man then you bring him to me I will not search anymore or chase another man. Soon after, in less than a month I met my husband who I thought didn’t even exist before, but I’m glad I didn’t marry another man, and more importantly that I waited. I could have passed him by and ended up in a bad relationship with a man God never really had planned for me. If I had kept rebelling against what God said I’m sure I probably wouldn’t have even got a chance to meet my husband so soon. My husband is truly a precious blessing that could have been lost if I continued rebelling. I wouldn’t trade him for the world I didn’t know a man could ever be so peaceful and hate fighting and arguing. That someone could be patient and kind all the time and very slow to anger no matter what. People say that if spouse do not argue with each other it means they do not love each other, but that is not true. My advice is to pray for your marriage in advance, if you’re sure he’s the one. We’re all called to be like Christ so let that show through your relationship. Nothing is perfect, but with prayer anything is possible.

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  11. Look up spirituall husband/wife I recommend do your research many people have these and do not realize but by God you can be set free too like me! Bring it to the Lord and by his will break it off.

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  12. I am so glad I found this webpage/blog because I, too, “think” I know who my husband is but as what many others have said, I have become confused and not sure so it is hard for me to know God’s voice right now. What happened to me is that maybe 2 (2014) years ago, I thought this person may have been the one so I ask God…like everyone else for a specific sign to signify a yes or no. Well I didn’t get the signed I prayed for.

    I call a minister friend of mine to ask her to pray in partnership with me to get the answer. I even fasted and still nothing so I decided the answer was just “NO’ and to move on. I didn’t genuinely feel my minister friend prayed and later we were in a discussion about something else and she made the remark that people need to be focus on God and the things of God instead of worrying about who their husband is. I didn’t let on that I was upset about the comment but I know it was a fiery dart against me. I realized from that moment on that I was not to talk to anyone else or ask anyone else to pray for me concerning this situation. I didn’t take this to the Pastor because I just didn’t feel that was something I should do at that moment. I have to say… this particular person who is part of the ministry staff at my church, I have been off/on with fighting my affections for him.

    There are other women in the church that is interested in him. I have observed his interactions with other ladies but still he is single. Well, in May of this year, I had a dream about him and didn’t think anything of it until late that evening… I thought Lord, are you trying to tell me something. I ask the Lord again to show me a sign but this time when I dreamed what I dreamed … I couldn’t remember what I asked the Lord to receive the answer as a yes or no. All I can say is this…. this man constantly looks at me, I see him starring at me a lot. He may come around where I am but not too close…He wont make eye contact and when he comes around me, it is hard for me to make eye contact with him. I actually try to ignore him but had been thinking a lot about him and believing that God is saying he is the one. I got weak and called a couple of prayer lines/prophets in search for help but only to become more confused. I decided to talk to the Lord one more time about this because this man seems to keep coming back to my spirit from time to time. I prayed last night and this morning found this site.

    Reading “My waiting on God” testimony was God’s way of speaking to me. Everything that was said made absolute perfect sense. I do feel this man is the one but like others, I am bit apprehensive, somewhat afraid and uncomfortable because I don’t want to be hurt. A broken heart is one of the worst pains ever and take such time to heal and get over. I ask my loving Father to help me in my naivety, my vulnerability at this time for I don’t want to be deceived and mislead by the enemy for relying on my emotions to make decisions instead of God’s true divine wisdom. I pray that God will lead many other women to this site so they can be ministered to and that it will open their hearts to receive his true divine will and purpose for their lives.
    God bless us “singles in waiting”

    Liked by 1 person

  13. this literally happened to me a month ago. I just shook it off, but other stuff started happening. growing intimate feelings, but its gross because i view him as a brother, and i pull away as much as possible, but always drawn in. What to do with roller coaster emotions?

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  14. Thanks Debbie. Your post has helped me come to a solid decision now because I was confused too but now I know what to do because God has it all.

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  15. Hi Deborah!

    You were a confirmation from God– I just received this word from Him, yesterday. I’ve been sort of “obsessing” over this guy at work b/c not too long ago, I had a dream about meeting my husband.
    The dream included me being at my church. My mom and my Aunt Lori was to the right of me and began to tear up because of a song that they were playing and out of nowhere… A man took appeared to my left and held my hands in his. He couldn’t stop staring at me. I felt such overwhelming love and comfort. I knew in my spirt this was “him”, forsure. I woke up and started deciphering the dream. The church house was our basis of our relationship but what really stood out was my aunt Lori being in the dream. I knew for a fact that she represented my job b/c I work directly w/ her. But the guy was African American and there is zilch at my job! Lol. This dream appeared to me about two mos ago.
    About three weeks ago, out of nowhere, a Black guy got hired. When we met, I didn’t think anything of it until we had our first encounter by ourselves and his spirit settled w/ mine. He was so overwhelming nice and kind. The attraction went from a 2 to a 20. Ever since then, I started referring to my dream– is my the one I’m supposed to be with?? I think it led me to ask him out for lunch. He agreed but had to cancel 2x b/c of his work schedule. At that point, I just felt some type of way. When we do see each other, he mentions that we still need to get together for lunch/coffee.
    Yesterday, I asked the Lord for clarification and to take this “obsession” away from me. (Side
    note: I’m on his Instagram, everyday). It’s annoying, to say the least. I heard in my spirit, that he’s the one (I think– having trouble deciphering if it was my flesh or God), I just need to sit back and let God work. Then today, I ran upon your blog and it was confirmation to give it God– God works in the right timing. He’ll come around.
    I just wanna say thank you so much for allowing God use you, Deborah! Any advice about deciphering if my flesh was talking or God??

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  16. I’m currently 21 years old– at first out of fear I didn’t understand what or who was my dream about but I asked God to reveal it to me because I dearly want to know.. and I had this dream approximately over 2 years ago.. it was so weird… “So I had this dream about being in school and I recently left dance class and headed out to the hallway to hangout with some friends and I found myself with a handsome African American male (who was really tall probably 6’8″ or something but) that I was friends with and we were giggling and talking and with someone that he called his baby brother (possibly 5 or 6 months old) that tried to pull my shirt to get weaned. The unknown handsome male apologized for his brother’a action and we were giggling and laughing his SMILE 😊 and mind you that I looked away and left the room from someone that I do know and kind of liked. But it wasn’t a horrible gesture but left happily. And my sister intercepted my sleep, but that’s what I remember…” literally a year later after having this dream June 2015 I received confirmation that this guy was my husband through the Holy Spirit. I was like this has to be a joke. I called up one good friend about it and began matching things together and I was like OMG it makes sense!!! I prayed and prayed because we were already mutual friends but it’s so crazy because you know what their “type” was in a girl and appearance wise I did not fall into his category so. So I went about jybbusiness and asked God to create my focus on something else which was in my business and then I found out he was dating someone and I was a little devastated but I was like no.. let him be… don’t get upset nor show that you’re hurt but support it and that’s what I did.. and I asked God to redirect me and so He did… but a few months down the path they’ve ended up not dating anymore and people kept coming to me knowing nothing about the dreams or confirmations and asked what do I see in him and my response would be the same– “ummm y’all know his type right and I’ll laugh it out” but now it’s just being patient with God’s word an dinvesting in his kingdom because He’s asked me to do so much and I have very little time to do all that He’s called me to do.. but I’ve told my friend as a reminder that it’s been two years and I’ve been ikay– I went through excitement but now I’m just going through confirmation and working stage. But definitely I’m going to pray for creating and building a friendship with him.. that sounds amazing.

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  17. Hello Sis!

    Thank you for sharing these nuggets of wisdom for us women who are “waiting” and discerning whether or not we heard God say, that is your husband. I too have received several prophecies about the Lord revealing my husband to me. In 2015, after my 25th birthday, the Lord spoke to me and said that I would meet my husband before my 26th birthday, a month before my 26th birthday, I met a guy after 6 1/2 years of abstinence and no dating. We had only known each other for a week and reluctantly I invited him to a special service at my church. I say reluctant because I did not want to invite him but my best friend insisted and that night he received a prophecy which had never happened to him before.

    I did not like him, I actually thought he was kind of awkward looking and while I was thinking how unattractive he was to me, I ((thought)) I heard Holy Spirit say, “that’s your husband”. I shook my head and thought get out of here flesh! We dated, backslid, and finally I broke up with him. While in prayer about the Father mending my heart, I asked the Lord to give me a word of comfort about him. I heard, “wait”. I asked my prayer partner/best friend to partner with me in prayer and ask God to confirm with her what I assumed I heard Him say. (I did not tell her what the Holy Spirit said to me). She returned a few days later with “be patient”. So, while pouring my heart out to the Lord about mending my heart, cleansing me from the residue of sin and shame, and pouring the blood of Jesus between my ex and I and my emotions…a still small voice whispered “wait”.

    As much as I pray feelings away, and hopes of reconciliation away, I hear wait. And honestly, I want to hear “he isn’t your husband, move on, he is not it” lol because that is real clear and I can work with that. So with that said, I understand the anxiety of all the women above who are sharing their feelings of confusion, hope, excitement and etc. What I appreciate the most about your advice was to PUT IT ON THE SHELF and KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE PLOW…DO NOT BECOME INFACTUATED AND CONSUMED. Such an encouragement to me. My question to you is:

    During your points of doubts and discouragement, what scripture/reminder made you renew your faith in God’s revelation to you, especially after two years of waiting?

    God bless you Sis, you are such a gem for sharing this wisdom.

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  18. I sought out this article after learning what I wholeheartedly believe to be God revealing my future husband to me. I started getting involved with the college age group at my church a few months back. One day I had said I was interested in a service project and signed my name down, but didn’t realize that meant I was committing. Turns out I was on the list, and although I had to work really late the night before, I decided to go. I woke up that morning and it was raining…the volunteering was outside and I was about to go back to bed, but I felt led to go anyways. There was a guy from the group who I met there and totally hit it off with (as friends), we had a few minutes alone together and I had this feeling come over me that I was going to marry him one day. Normally when I’ve felt like this about a guy in the past, I’d pursue him and try to flirt. But for some reason I knew this time was different and I was really freaked out and avoided him. Well fast forward to several months later. I was volunteering at summer camp with church, there was 3 separate weeks of camp and about 280 students each week with lots of volunteers. One day I was walking around and 2 girls that I didn’t know walked up to me and handed me a name tag they found, trying to return it to the camper who lost it. I look down, it’s the guys name. Funny thing was, he had gone to camp the week before me and wasn’t even there. I took the name tag and set it down on a bench right by the worship center so it could be thrown away or whatever. Tons of leaders walk past this bench all day, and I left it where it was completely visible. Well the next day a different girl who again, I didn’t know, hands me the guys name tag and tells me she found it. This time I was thoroughly freaked out and kept it. Of all the leaders they could’ve brought it to, they gave it to me. They could’ve put it in the lost and found, but somehow it made it to me again. I decided before even reading this article that I was going to let God handle this, and I wasn’t going to push anything. I truly believe that there are no coincidences with God. Only time will tell!

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  19. If you feel there might be a chance that someone is “the one” but at the moment nothing can become of it (we are currently in different countries for starters and not in contact) — how do I view the other guys who ARE around me and may want to pursue me? Do I live as though pre-betrothed to this person simply because of powerful dream(s) I’ve had?

    To be frank I do not think I am even the season to be dating just yet, but I do like the idea of thinking all things are still possible…that I have a choice among the godly, men who may cross my path. Or am I merely waiting for a dream to come to pass?

    Any insight would be appreciated. Much love. 🙂

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    • I am in the same boat! My guy has been through a couple girlfriends while I have been waiting for him, I have been attracted to other guys. I prayed for quite a while about whether or not to pursue relationship with these guys and never got a clear answer. So I dated a couple guys, and both of them turned out to be not who I thought they were. It seemed like a clear sign from God that I am supposed to wait. At times, I feel so enslaved by the knowledge that I have about my future husband because I feel like I have no free will in the matter, but lately God has been reminding me that He told me it’s going to happen because it will eventually be what I want and what is best for me. I just have to be patient and I will be rewarded. I hope that helps some! It’s encouraging to me to know that others are in my same shoes and I’m not insane haha. I feel like I am a lot of the time.

      Liked by 1 person

      • And the ironic thing is, I am at a point in my faith walk where I need to reclaim my “free will” – because the other extreme can stall me spiritually as I can get paralyzed with indecision and fear.

        I want to rest in His Word and refocus my life on the objective truths of Scripture and the freedom I have in Christ, moreso than interpreting subjective signs and experiences and feeling like I always need some grand revelation in order to make a choice or move forward.

        While I do believe God brings people together, I have also been edified by preachers who remind us that is more important to pursue holiness and to focus on being “the one” than finding “the one.” — And that even the idea of “the one” can be harmful itself because there is no perfect person and also, there truly might be more than one person out there who would make a good, Christian husband.

        Rather than finding a “soulmate” – to live understanding that the person you enter a marriage covenant with becomes your “sole mate” and that loving this person is a daily choice to serve and honor him – not contingent upon emotions or even divine signs and wonders.

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      • It helped me! I’m going crazy! I love mine more than any man I’ve ever loved before in my life and he’s my ex! I’ve been battling with this for a year now. I told him that God told me he’s the one for me and naturally he thinks I’m crazy, heck until I read this post I was starting to think I was crazy. I’ve had the devil put extremely attractive men in my life and upon asking God, He tells me to wait and not to give up on my ex just yet. I’m the most impatient person ever and maybe that’s what He’s doing is building my patience. He also said we were going to start a ministry together. Sometimes I wish I hadn’t asked lol

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  20. Thank you so much for this blog. I’m inspired and encourage to submit my will to God and He shall grant my heart desires.
    God bless you sis Deborah

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  21. This is amazing, thank you! I am in a situation where i have three close friends who have happened to confide in me that God has told them who they are going to marry. And they are all positive that they are going to marry THE SAME MAN.
    The man is a close family friend of mine and has told me that he knows for sure who he is going to marry, which is one of the girls who had told me as i mentioned earlier, and they have recently started dating (because God also gave him the go to ask her out).
    i am very confused as to what to encourage these girls with when i don’t know if it’s really what God wants. I have been continuously been praying about it and have so far just encouraged each girl to continue seeking God and keep Him in the centre.
    But how much i respond when they ask for advice? These girls are completely and absolutely positive that they will marry this Man (Which can’t be true for all of them, surely?) and i can’t exactly tell them to hold onto the promise or anything else that may encourage them into something that may not be God-breathed.
    I am called to Pastoral Care in my ministry… but this is a situation that i have never had to deal with.
    God Bless, Ash.

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  22. Thank you for sharing this, it really reassured me on some things.

    I have a question, if you don’t mind answering. How do you know if God has told you that that is not the person for you? There is nothing wrong in my relationship, in fact it is a very healthy, supportive relationship. But sometimes I get urges to end it, and I am not sure if it is indeed from God, or…

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    • God told me not to marry my ex-husband and I just kept asking him over and over again was he sure be wanted to get married, but in reality everything inside of me was screaming run. He turned out to be abusive, got my kids taken away from me, and cheated on me several times until God finally gave me a way out. Try fasting about it.

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  23. Thank you for this powerful testimony. I know who my husband is going to be and I’m waiting for God to fulfill his promise. You helped me a lot with this post. Since the moment God revealed who he is going to be it was hard for me to find peace. He surely is not ready to be a godly husband yet and the wait is hard sometimes and at some point it made me question God’s plan for me. I was very emotional for a long period of time and couldn’t tame my emotions. I was suffering a lot. You assured me that I should just trust God’s timing and not to be to anxious about it. I think I just had unreal notion od marriage in my mind and God had to heal it.

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  24. Thank you for this wonderful comments they helped me not to do things that I would regret, like giving hints. I’m 17 years old but I’ll be turning 18 in November and the guy God told me he is my husband is 16, I was wondering why would God say a younger guy would one day marry me. The day I knew was the first day of school when we went to prayer before we can star going to our classes, I didn’t know him before and when I first saw him something inside me clicked it was a feeling that I can’t explain even now. I thought about it and the answer I came across was he is my husband but I didn’t want to believe because I’m older than him. After some few months it came across my mind and I prayed about it but I got the same answer yet I refused to believe and on the 24th July I asked to God to make it rain with a heavy wind and there I would know that he is my husband and on the 25th it didn’t rain and I was happy that he is not my husband but around 23:00 pm it rained for few minutes and the strong wind was also the. It was like God wanted to just give me an answer and get finished because it didn’t even take an hour. But I’m not sure if he knows but to me he is like any brother of mine in Christ and he treats me the same way. I used to be worried about next year because I’m going to university and he will be finishing his high school and we will be far apart but I’ve decided to give all to God and continue praying for my husband. The thing that makes me more happy is that my husband loves God so much and he is strong and powerful in Christ, I know I won’t lose him even when we are far away he will ask God to lead him to his wife I’ll be just waiting in the Lord and praying that he gets more and more powerful. Thank you sister Deborah for your story and all that commented. I pray that God help you in everything you are involved and strengthen you more and more God bless you all

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  25. I know I’m a bit behind on this post lol but I really thank God for this… it really blessed me and gave me clarity on how God works. I’m currently in the ‘waiting’ stage and it gives me peace about my situation knowing there are others that are going through the same thing. Someone actually prophesied to me that this guy will be my husband and I know that was confirmation because I already knew through sign from holy spirit. Although we are only friends now I know God is a man of his word and I’m praying that he puts me in the position to become the woman of God he has called me to be for my future husband. No one knows about it but my counselor and I want to keep it that way because what God has for me no man can take away. I really hope most women in the same situation have faith and patience because that’s all God wants from us. He’ll surely reward us for it if we diligently seek him. I’m so grateful that he brought me to this post because I now feel a sense of relief knowing that if he did it for other people he can do it for me. Be bless everyone and pray for me as I pray for you! Thanks Deborah!!!

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  26. Thank you so much for sharing your stories.

    I’m currently in a relationship I know very well I shouldn’t be in and in due tme I will leave.

    Weeks ago I dreamnt meeting my husband but I could see his face Ignored the dream.

    Yesterday I read a book about meeting your Boaz. Then a voice came to me saying I should write letters to my future husband till the day I meet him. So I’m just wondering what God is doing I feel like through these letters he wants me to be patient but while I’m waiting I’m writing and commiunicating to my future husband.

    To God be the Glory his so faithful and I will wait on him

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  27. As a single woman in her early 30s this is by far the best thing I have read. I am hopeful yet can be left uneasy and frustrated about the fact that I am single. I sometimes get angry and depressed due to the fact I am. This left me feeling encouraged and a sense of peace has come over me. Thank you. God blesss

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    • Zenna.. I am frustrated as well. I am in my early 40’s and I get lonely at times .. yes there are men who want to date me but they are not men of God and they only be having one thing on their mind..This site as also made my day and I actually feel so much better now .. Amen

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  28. This is truly an amazing website… God told me who my husband was right out of the blue. I see the guy at my job occasionally but we do not know each other. In the past few days I have been seeing him more and more and I do not know if this means anything. I am saving myself until marriage.. so you can understand the frustration that i am feeling but I trust and believe in God and he told me to just be patient. The guy walked passed me yesterday at work and glanced at me a few times but that’s it. The guy is not really even my type but he is very handsome. At first I was like wait.. this has to be me talking to myself then I was like wait.. hes not even my type so it has to be God.. lol… God has helped me and blessed me so much in life and I love him very dearly.

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  29. I believe that God told me my ex-boyfriend was the one for me . Over a year ago He had me go to a park to sit there and think. In my mind I was going to “catch” my ex-boyfriend there with another woman. I asked God to open my eyes, open my heart, and open my mind, to allow me to see what He wants me to see and not what I want to see for myself . After 20 minutes of me moaning and groaning, I was given the urge to just be quiet. Out of nowhere I heard a still small voice very quickly say “he’s your Boaz”and the memories we had as in our first kiss, first time holding hands, first type of intimacy together was at that park. I found it so hard to believe that I continued thinking he was going to bring another woman there. We ended up getting back together. Time went by and we broke up again, this time I cried in the shower and begged God to give him back to me. I sat on the edge of my bed with tears streaming down my face asking God once again to open my eyes, open my heart, and open my mind, to allow me to see what He wants me to see and not what I want to see for myself. I heard Be still and know that I am God. Wait, I say on the Lord. 5 minutes later he called me and we ended up getting back together again. Months later we break up again (mind you I had just gotten out of an abusive and unfaithful marriage) I asked God again what to do. I heard work on you and let me work on him. I asked some friends for advice and a spiritual elder and they told me to work on getting my kids back and then God will bless me with my ex. We ended up getting back together, but since then have broken up again and have been broken up for almost 8 months. I’ve asked for clarity after clarity , I’ve been focusing on my children and only them, but I can’t get him off my mind. One time I asked for clarity and heard that we were going to start a ministry together, but my problem after reading this is, I’ve told a lot of people including him what I believe God told me. It is literally driving me crazy because he won’t talk to me and every time I try to move on or stop praying for him I can’t. I constantly cry over him and my children and even started speaking in tongues while praying for him. That was the first time it ever happened in my life. I have been searching for answers for over a year and I just don’t know what to do. I beg God to take the way I feel about him away from me too, but it still remains . I get Scriptures about waiting and that love is patient any time I want to give up and move on, but how can I be certain it’s not just my flesh?

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    • Do as God said, work on yourself while God work on your ex. Keep your eyes constantly on Jesus. Remember what Peter did, he walked perfectly on water as long as he kept his sight on Jesus, but as soon as he started looking at the world , Peter began to sink.
      You said God wants you to go into ministry with that man. This is part of your preparation moment. Ministry isn’t just only about supporting your husband.

      Are you saying he breaks up with you? or are you the one breaking up with him?

      it helps to remember marriage is temporary, there’s no marriage in heaven. in comparison to eternity, this human life is veey brief. Store up treasures in heaven as much as you can while you are still on earth. You’re already able to collect heavenly treasure the moment you become born again.

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  30. I believe that God sent me my boyfriend ( now fiance) my story goes like this
    I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for about 4 years ( 3 years of high school and my freshman year of college) it was mostly long distance to begin with but once I moved to college he would visit me more frequently.

    While still in high school I went to the state where my boyfriend at the time was living and stayed with an aunt of mine. Anyways, one day I was sleeping on the couch at my aunts house when some of my cousins friends came over. All of the guys said hi, but one in particular, William made an attempt to personally come over and introduce himself. Which I was completely rude and brushed him off and went about my business ( My boyfriend at the time had convinced me that by speaking to other men I was cheating , I was stupid and 17 and believed him) so I didn’t even think twice about even muttering a word.

    Once I turned 18, graduated high school and moved to the state where my aunt lived to start college my abusive boyfriend, like I mentioned early would visit me more often, I lived on campus and he would take it upon his self to pop up at my dorm to ” check up on me”. He was an extremely jealous person and our relationship was on and off because of his insecurities that I was now in college and other men found me attractive. Our relationship ended around my second semester as a freshman in college when my abusive boyfriend sent me into a massive panic attack ( something I had frequently while I was with him, which I no longer suffer from) that ended in the paramedics coming to my school and breaking down my dorm door etc. After that we broke up for good but he tried to manipulate me into getting back with him telling me he would commit suicide and the liking but one day out of being completely fed up I thought to myself ” This is not someone I could ever imagine marrying and spending the rest of my life with” we broke up for good and I never looked back.

    I continued on my life as a finally free freshman in college and did whatever I wanted and loved the feeling of not having to be in a relationship. So now that I lived closer to my aunt I was constantly at her house hanging out with her and my cousin. And on many occasions I would bump into William but I was no where near interested in being in a relationship and he wasn’t my type. But hearing the buzz of the family tell him that I was single he continued to pursue me. But it wasn’t your typical pursue he would not necessarily flirt with me just always show me kindness, he would always compliment me but for some reason it was just different from how I had been pursued in the past so it never registered to me the same as when past men had approached me. He was different in every sense of the word, but being rebellious and not wanting to settle down and be in a relationship I continued to brush him off. He would bring me flowers, ice cream, sing to me, call me whenever he found out I was at my aunts house and I never gave him the time of day. To be honest at that time I didn’t even know his name and for some reason just ended up calling him cupid because of a song he sang to me one day. I can remember one day when I finally spoke too him because one of our mutual friends told me that I was really being mean to him and that I didn’t have to date him but I could at least be nice and hold a conversation with him. So I did, that day William asked me what kind of guys I liked and if I thought he was attractive and if I would ever date him. To which I replied no, your not my type. But for some reason that never stopped him. I continued to live the single life and be happy but eventually overtime i became friends with William and William, myself and our mutual friend would hang out.

    One day while I was at my dorm laying down I remember talking to God and telling him that the next guy I get with ( whenever that was) I wanted him to be kind, loving, caring, faithful etc because i’m such a loving and caring person and was sick of getting into relationships to fix men and have them neglect and emotionally abuse me in return leaving me hard and cold as stone.

    Overtime William had asked me out to which I replied, I see you more as a brother and completely friendzoned him, but he never acted bitter or treated me wrong. One night naturally I went to my aunts house as she was having a party for a basketball game she had been anticipating. William and our mutual friend were there as well as other friends and family. By the conclusion of the night ( and I remember this so vividly) I was sitting on the couch next to William watching the end of the game and out of nowhere God said ” If you want to be happy there is your guy to the left) and I looked at William and without hesitation I said to him ” If you want you can ask me out now” and he did. We got into a relationship which would be his longest ( never dated a girl for more than 9 months) and we broke up 3 times ( each time I had taken him back strongly sticking to my belief that this was the man God had sent to me, when I would convince myself that I was wrong maybe it wasn’t God i would get a plethora of signs one after the other all relating to him) The reason for our breakups were always the same, he had been abused by his mom and step dad growing up and was afraid to get close to anyone because the only person he had ever gotten close to, his grandfather, had died and was convinced that maybe he wasn’t meant to be loved). During our last breakup we remained some sort of friends but didn’t speak often, we worked in the same plaza and when he called me one night and I couldn’t sleep I called him the next morning and told him that we couldn’t be friends and its best if we avoid all contact. I cried and mourned because I felt I had lost a piece of me as we had become more of best friends than anything. He quickly called me back and told me he is sorry and couldn’t afford to lose me. We worked on our friendship and trust for 3 or so months and I took him back once again because the signs of him and I suppose to be together were overwhelming. I kept my eye close on him and told him this was the last time and that if we broke up from here that it would be over for good. He became a man after that, I mean a whole 360 turn into a brand new person, some of the problems we had before we never had anymore. It was amazing he was everything that I had ever asked God for and more. About a year later he asked my dad for my hand, and on the day I graduated from University he proposed to me in front of all my family and friends. Since then we have moved out of state and are happier than ever.

    A couple things I do want to mention though are that when I met him he was aspiring to be a singer and all the songs he had written prior to meeting me he would describe his perfect girl. His description in his songs of his perfect girl were always like ex: she would be caramel colored with chinky eyes, she would be Jamaican, Dominican, Chinese etc she would be 5’3 etc and funny enough I am all of those things, his songs would describe me down to a T it was almost creepy considering we had never met.( Law of Attraction much lol)
    Another thing is the first time he met me, when I brushed him off, he didn’t even know my name but went to my aunts boyfriend and our mutual friend and my cousin that day and told them he would marry me and couldn’t figure out why he felt that way considering he had made his mind up that he was going to grow up a bachelor and never get married. But he knew with every fiber of his body that I would be his wife.

    We were always within 7 minutes of each other, the house he grew up in was 5 minutes away from where my dad and uncle frequently took me, my siblings and my cousins golfing with them. The house that my grandmother lived in, that I spent a lot of my childhood in was 7 minutes away from his house and 2 minutes away from his ex girlfriends house and the park he would always go to with his friends. Also the plaza behind my grandmothers house he was always there eating and hanging out with his friends. A store that my grandmother would bring me to every weekend was about 5 minutes from his grandfathers old house and 8 minutes from his grandmothers house. We were always within the same vicinity of each other.

    Beyond that I do believe that it was God himself that spoke to me that night and not just of flesh because I was nowhere near attracted to him and would have never thought in a million years that today I would be his fiance,
    What do you guys think?

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  31. Hi there, first of all I would like to say thank you for sharing the few many pointers and the great advice, I really needed it as I am going through this myself.

    So here is my story:
    In 2012 I had my first dream, in that dream I was with my then boyfriend and it was late so he had to go home, he was visiting me. So we walked to the bus station which is like 2 blocks from my house, when we got at the bus station two robbers came to us and attacked us but we fought back then the robbers stopped and said to my then boyfriend that you better keep her because you don’t get strong girls like her and so they left us alone. So I told him that we should go to the gas station a down the street to wait for the bus there, when we got there he took out a CD that he made and asked me for my opinion while we wait for the bus and when I was about to take the CD to tell him my thoughts a lady from nowhere came by and took the CD and she commented on the CD cover then when I was about to say my too sense the bus came so he had to leave. Next minute I heard Romans 8:4 and I woke up.

    I have never dream’t about the Bible ever in my life so it scared me and never forgot about this dream.

    In this time of my life I was suffering from depression keep this in mind.

    Now it’s 2014 I left everything behind to take a break and recover from my depression. Went to a different country for a year. I was went in deep prayers for days etc. Then this one night in my second dream I heard a voice say to me “I will tell you 5 things: 1.Happiness 2.Faith 3.Provide Time 4.Significance 5. I will tell you in the morning.” So silly me thought that when I wake up I will know number 5, however, all this made sense in my life my puzzle was slowly coming up. Never had another dream or heard a voice.

    In 2016 the voice came back I was minding my own business at home in the kitchen preparing some food and my new boyfriend who we been on and off walked past my door and I had an epiphany moment, I heard a voice say that is my husband, my heart, body and mind was full of grace and joy and everything around me stopped. So I told his sister who was there with me that I know my husband but he doesn’t know it yet and she asked me who is it and I told her it’s her brother. So sometimes we had problems and I wanted to give up on him but something tells me not to and just have faith and this has never happened to me before. This one time before I had the epiphany he was sleeping and I just took my hand and placed it on his head and prayed for him, again I have never done this to anyone. I then started to to connect the dots about me and him since we have a history together of 10 years. Then I was like we can’t work because of our different religion, me being Christian and him being Muslim but something interesting happened I took the Bible and I saw 1 Corinthians 7 and 13 after reading that I turned the page and I saw Ephesians 5:21. I don’t know if this is how God is communicating with me on my journey in life. I am not someone that also read the Bible only now my faith is becoming stronger in the word. I am no longer with him but that is just us on and off, so I don’t know if he is really my husband or not time will tell. Sometimes I have my doubts but I believe that they is a greater meaning behind all this and maybe I am just to blind to see, what is also strange is that not only are we neighbours and grew up together but he does not share his feelings and emotions towards me, but he trusts me, we share birthdays so we both young 25 and I just left lost and that’s why I added up here seeking for guidance. It scares me at times because I love him so much and is afraid of losing him even though I was told told that he is my husband and that we not in good terms at the moment. Maybe I am being silly and reading into this a lot because I overthink things.

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  32. What a wonderful testimony. I know it was God who led me here because He gave me a revelation concerning my husband while I was in church and I asked Him what to do and for confirmation; because this is the third time I am believing I am hearing the voice of God. Nothing further happened on the other two occasions and I really didn’t feel any loss, but for some reason, today I got this overwhelming feeling in the pit of my stomach and I almost fell to my knees in church. I came home, turned on my laptop and googled ‘ what to do when God shows you your future husband’ and this site was the first one. The advice makes so much sense. Men like to do the pursuing and although God may speak to them, sometimes they struggling with the thought that it may not be God’s voice or that they will be rejected. We sit in close proximity to each other in church but I never once thought he would be interested in me until today. As a matter of fact he was not in my thoughts..lol. I know a little about him and when I think about it, we seem like chalk and cheese lol.

    I have not dated or been in a relationship for a long time but I have been asking God to let my husband find me.

    Thank you so much for this information. I will prayerfully wait on God and continue with my ministry activities and allow God to work it out.

    May God continue to bless your marriage and give wisdom and guidance to all the other ‘single and waiting women’.

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  33. Thanks for sharing this article! It has blessed me tremendously… a right word for the right season for me. May God increasingly bless you and your family.

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  34. what a wonderful post Deborah, thank you and God bless. I also believe that the devil is at work in our lives and would stop at nothing to bring confusion in our lives. I have heard of stories from different women whom some have been waiting for aslong as twenty years for what was supposedly a promise from God about an intended spouse, only to still be waiting, and yes they’ve had all sorts of signs and confirmations. now our God the father to Jesus is never cruel! The best thing any woman can do for themselves is to try and be a better person everyday by letting Christ prune our character, and maybe by simply doing so you might discover you actually like that brother u had never ever thought of giving a chance to. Unlike waiting for some miracle husband!. As much as there are people who indeed do hear from God about such a matter as this, there are those who have gotten divorced too!. The Lord has given us the gift of free will for a reason so why do we often want to hold him accountable for a decision such as choosing a mate. It should be fun and hilarious at the same time the road to discovering who your actual mate is, not waiting on dreams and signs which are often so misleading.

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  35. Thank you for you post about what to focus on while waiting for God to bring you your spouse. I am still learning to live my life for Christ. I’ve converted a few years back and my walk with God eventually lead me to understand and act on discontinuing my relationship with my unbeliever ex. I was dating him before I converted and it has taken these few years with God’s help to untangle myself from my old life. In the beginning it looked so impossible to get over my ex and to feel confident being a single. When learnt to give the matter over to God, God is able to take care of the situation much better than I could devise. I am actually relieved that hurdle is over, Jesus is far more deserving of my love than all my unbeliever exes.
    After I became single, there was a time where I wondered whether I’m called to celibacy or marriage, and wondering what is my calling in life. Last Christmas, a man of God has told me that God is leading me in my life and I don’t have to worry about planning every single step to take in order to do God’s will – I just need to only focus on putting one foot in front of the other (God only illuminates the next step or 2). I’m also able to confirm that message did come from God because I also saw the signs unfolding in my life within the past 1 yr. I believe my time of singleness is for now about my own emotional healing, spiritual growth in God, learning the word of God and helping people that God leads to me. I’ve been told that my gift is wise counsel and compassion by a man was slightly involved in leading me to Christ. I believe more gifts will manifest for God gives more to those who are faithful in the little things.
    Although there are no men I am even remotely interested in since I decide to be a living sacrifice to God, I come to believe God will call me to marriage. for there is a desire of spousal companionship in me. I’m trusting God for the impossible, because it just look so impossible where I live to meet any godly single men, let alone a type that I can be attracted to while being spiritually compatible. God can bring Ruth a godly man, He can bring a Boaz for all the Ruths in the world.

    For all the singles out there please remember to also pray to God to guide, protect, encourage, strengthen, prepare your future spouse. He/She is very likely facing some kind of trails just as you are.

    I’ve come across a lot of post that are about singles encouraging singles to hold fast to God’s words but they lack testimony on the success viewpoint. It is refreshing to read a point of view coming from a woman who has successfully gone through the trails and achieve victory. Its certainly very helpful to understand what to do and not to do, so you can avoid problems.

    Again thank you so much.

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  36. Hi

    I just want to know, what if you told the guy that God spoke to you? 😦

    I know I acted out of my flesh by telling him and have repented to God about all these things. I have now left it in the hands of God and allowing myself to yield to the Holy Spirit’s guidance.

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