I Believe God Told Me Who My Husband Is

What should I do? (And how do I know if it’s my flesh?)

I believe God told me who my husband is

I’m being asked this question a lot lately. A lot of women believe that God has shown them who their future husband is and are unsure of what to do and how to handle it. So with much thought, prayer and reflection on the things I’ve learned from my own journey of having successfully gone through this, I’ve outlined some things to do (and not to do) and ways to know if it’s your flesh. And if you’d like to read my testimony of how God brought my husband and I together you can read it here.

[Disclaimer: Before I begin, I want to point out that – Everyone is not going to know beforehand who their spouse is (God does it differently for different people). Everyone is not going to hear an audible voice saying “that’s him” or “yes” (in fact be careful of that audible “yes” because your flesh can speak as well and disguise it as the voice of  God). And everyone is not going to have a dream(s) (many people have dreams and those dreams fail).]

  1. It is the man’s job to pursue/find the woman, so wait.

God’s word says in Proverbs 18:22, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.” That means the man has to come pursue you. You have to allow God to reveal it to him and give him the go-ahead to begin pursuing you. It doesn’t matter how many confirmations you’ve gotten or how strong you believe it in your spirit, God’s word does not change; you are to wait for that man to pursue you. God told me two and a half years prior to my now husband approaching me about being his wife. Guess what I had to do in those two and a half years? Wait. If you believe that it’s truly God then you need to have the faith that God is able to tell him just like He told you. Even if things look completely opposite in the natural, have faith.

And don’t say you’re having faith while trying to give the guy hints and get all up in his face unnecessarily. Unless you want that relationship to be founded on flesh (seduction) or you want to mess up what God has planned, don’t do it (I talk about this more in #5). God didn’t tell you so that you can go tell him and start pursuing him. Your job is to simply wait and treat him like any other brother in Christ.

  1. If he does know (or you believe that he knows) that you’re his wife, don’t pressure him.

Let God give him full assurance of this and let God lead him on when and how to begin pursuing you. You want to make sure that he has FULL assurance so there won’t be any flip-flopping or going back and forth in your relationship about whether or not you two should be together. The last thing you want is a man who’s not sure if he wants to marry you; the results can be devastating. Don’t try to nudge him to go in the direction and pace that you’d like to go, give him space to LEAD as God leads him. Men are called to be the leader. As women we have a tendency to think we know better, we know what to do, and how to do it. But if we’re not careful we can take the reins and begin to lead in our relationships instead of allowing the man to lead. When you begin to do this you’re planting a seed in your future marriage that could cause a lot of chaos.

  1. Seek God for confirmation.

If God doesn’t give you confirmation right away, don’t be anxious about it; it simply may not be time to know more. Put it on the shelf. However, your greatest confirmation is for it to come to pass. Regardless of all the dreams, signs, and other types of confirmation you receive, if it does not come to pass all those confirmations mean nothing except that you heard wrong. I’ve heard of and know of other women who thought they heard from God regarding who their future spouse was to be, they got many “confirmations” and it turned out not to be from God at all because it didn’t come to past and/or the guy married someone else.

  1. Be very careful who you tell.

This is very important. Don’t go telling everybody who is willing to listen. I wouldn’t even advise you to tell all your close friends; all of them really don’t need to know. My Pastor told me during my time of waiting and knowing that the more people you tell, the more opinions you have to battle with and the more seeds will be planted in your heart regarding what you believe God told you. I’ve seen situations where a girl will believe she knows who her husband is and half the people in the church will know, not because God showed them too, but because she told them. I never understood that. There are some people who may tell others because they want it to be known by all the other women that such and such is “taken” so they shouldn’t try to think he’s their husband too (which is silly and shows a lack of faith). But this is only a recipe for disaster. First off, if those people you tell are not mature enough to keep secrets, it will spread and eventually get to the guy’s ears. Secondly, if they’re not spiritually mature enough, you could end up getting false confirmations from them or the people they tell that you don’t know they told OR they could give hints to the guy. False confirmations will only lead to false hope. You don’t want any false confirmations; you want real confirmations from God.

Instead of telling all your friends (or half the church), choose people who you consider as wise counsel to keep you accountable and who can pray with and for you regarding it. It could be your pastor, a mentor, a female leader in your church, or a mature sister in Christ – someone who you trust and look up to spiritually. I chose to tell my pastor and a few other leaders in my church (once I was sure that this word was from God) so that if they saw me slippin’ and trying to get too close to Davon (who then was just a brother in Christ) or saw me acting in my flesh in any way, they could tap me on the shoulder and tell me to watch myself. To me that was wise. I didn’t want to put any confidence in my flesh or give the enemy any room to play. “In the multitude of counselors there is safety” (Prov.24:6). And I told my friends when I felt led to tell them, and in fact, for nearly the first year and a half of the two and a half years that I knew, none of them knew – and when I did tell them, I only told TWO of them. Trust me, when it comes to pass you’ll get plenty of chances to tell everybody how you “been knew,” LOL.

  1. Be careful and mindful of your interactions with him.

This is another important one. In other words, don’t try to act in ways to give him hints and clues to get him to know. When you do that you’re pretty much saying, “God I know You gave me this word but I really think that You need my help to bring it to pass, so let me help You out a little bit. By you trying to give him tips and clues it shows that you don’t really trust God to bring it to pass.

One thing God showed me about that when I was in my waiting-doubting-faith process (yes, it was all of those things in one) was that you’re really operating in a spirit of seduction when you try to go around the guy more, try to get closer to him and try to give him hints and clues to point him in your direction. You’re seducing (persuading) him with your charm, good looks, intellect, or whatever, to get him to look your way and notice and take an interest in you. You’re pretty much being a stumbling block to him. When you “catch” a man with your flesh, you’re going to have to continue to use your flesh to keep him. Your flesh is literally going to be the foundation of that relationship. When your good looks, charm, or whatever it was that you used to catch him fades or he no longer takes interest in them, nothing will make him stay with you; he’s disinterested now (but a real man of God would not even fall for that). You want the foundation of your relationship to be the Word of God which never fades away! The word that God spoke to you, He’s able to speak to him. Be patient. When he receives that word, he’s now bound to that word which God spoke. That will create a much greater covenant than your looks could ever create. And yes he will be attracted to you physically but you don’t want that to be the only thing that sends him your way. You want to make sure that he knows that he knows that he knows you are his wife from the Lord!

Now you may already be close to him or have a friendship with him. That’s good. I’m not saying to separate yourself from him. What I’m saying is let your friendship remain as it is and let it develop NATURALLY. Not by force. Don’t try so hard to get it to be how you want it to be. Don’t try to force your way into his heart. If y’all talk every so often, keep it like that and let your relationship develop at the pace that God wants it to develop at. In my case, I didn’t have a relationship with Davon when God revealed to me that he was to be my husband. He was honestly just another brother in the church; I didn’t know him much at all. But one of my prayers during that time was, “Lord if this man is who You say he is, then create a situation where we can become friends cause I don’t want to marry someone I’m not friends with.” That was one of the confirmations that I requested from the Lord. And sure enough, months later, I transferred to another college which happened to be his university (unbeknownst to me). My church had something back then called “Go Get Cain” which was pretty much us evangelizing together on our college campuses between and after classes. The first few times we did it, it was myself, Davon and 1 to 3 other people. After a few weeks, no one else had time to do it with us so most days it was just me and him. Look at God! I didn’t force it, I didn’t ask him for his number, I didn’t try to find out where he was so I could coincidentally be there at the same time, etc. As I was being obedient to God in doing what He placed heavily on my heart to do —evangelize on my college campus – we were able to NATURALLY develop a friendship. GOD SET IT UP! I didn’t set it up, God did. He answered my prayer and that for me was a huge confirmation. And ever since then we remained friends up until the time he approached me about being his wife.

My point here is, don’t get in the way of what God is doing, put your flesh to the side, and let God lead you in your interactions with the guy. As you obey God in what He has you doing He can naturally allow you to develop a friendship. Let God write your love story; don’t take the pen out of His hands. Only He knows your ending form your beginning.

  1. Don’t be anxious about it and keep your emotions in check.

Don’t let it become your focal point and be consumed by it. Worrying about it is not going to make it come any quicker. He really didn’t tell you so that you could worry about it. If you really believe that it’s God, choose to have faith instead of fear and worry. And it’s natural to be excited about marriage but don’t allow it to become ALL you think about. Letting your mind become consumed with thoughts about the dress, the ring, your future home, and children, how he’s going to propose, being in his arms, your first kiss, etc. will only cause you to not be able to hear from God clearly. Your mind will be cluttered. That can be dangerous especially if you’re not completely sure if he is your husband. All those thoughts are only a breeding ground for false confirmations. Your excitement will make you think certain thoughts are from God when really they’re from your flesh. And then on top of that, they will be a distraction from your relationship with God. So whether you believe it’s God or you’re not completely sure, letting these thoughts run rampant will have a negative effect on your relationship with God and in your real life because you literally have your head in the clouds all the time. Those thoughts will only grow in your mind more as you feed them and will eventually lead to lust and idolatry. You don’t want that, so once again: keep your emotions in check.

And no, it is NOT ok to have lustful thoughts about him even if you’re sure he is your husband. Lustful thoughts unchecked will lead to even more lustful thoughts, sexual dreams, and will lead you to eventually want to act out the thoughts through things like masturbation and may cause you to start being a stumbling block to your brother. Put absolutely no confidence in your flesh. One advice that a wise woman of God gave me concerning the issue of lustful thoughts was to see him as my brother. In actuality, until you are married, he is still just your brother. Seeing him in that way will help you to keep the thoughts in check. 1 Timothy 5:1-2 says, “…appeal to older men respectfully as you would your own father. Treat younger men as you would treat your brothers. Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters.”

  1. Put it on the shelf and continue to seek and serve The Lord

Put it on the shelf and leave it there. If it be of God He’ll bring it to past in due time. Like my Pastor says, “you do not have to police it.” Meaning you don’t have to monitor the word, watch over it, or anything like that; it’s God’s job to watch over HIS WORD. Isaiah 55:11 says, “So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.” It’s His word so it’s His job to perform it (bring it to past).

So rest; continue to be about your Father’s business. Don’t waste your singleness waiting for or worrying about a husband. Put the time to good use. There’s so much more God wants to do in your life in this season of singleness. Go on some trips, have some sleepovers with your sisters in Christ, have group Bible studies, have hours and hours of uninterrupted worship time, evangelize, minister…be about your Father’s business!! There’s sooo much you could be doing right now. Your life isn’t all of a sudden on hold once God tells you who your husband is only for it to start back up when you get married. No. If you don’t know what to do, ask God what He wants you to do in this time. Most likely it will involve you getting closer to Him because whatever He wants to pour into you now you will need for your next season. Once you get married you’ll have less time to yourself, so use the time wisely.

  1. If you’re not completely sure, keep an open heart that you could be wrong.

Don’t have a tight grip on it; we’ve all missed God at one point or the other. When you’re not sure about something that you believe God told you it’s wise to keep in mind that you could be wrong. When you have an open heart about it you’re more likely to hear the truth about it from God because you’re not fixed on it and you don’t have a tight grip on it. It’s better to err on the side of caution and say in your heart that you may be wrong until you’re sure than to immediately assume you’re right without solid assurance and to later find out that you were wrong all along. And if you find out that you were wrong don’t beat yourself up, learn from it so you don’t repeat the same mistake and move on.

How to know if it’s your flesh:

  1. You have a pattern of thinking one person is your spouse, which proves to be wrong, and then you move on to another person, then another, then another: Stop!! There’s a deep-rooted issue here. You’re trying to force yourself into a season of marriage when God is clearly saying it’s not your time. Marriage has become your idol. You’ve had dreams, received words, saw visions, and got “confirmations” about all these guys that you thought were your husband at one point and they ALL proved to be false. Clearly, there’s something wrong here, your flesh is deceiving you. Let God take that issue out of your heart and teach you to be content in the season that you are in.
  1. You are desperate to be in a relationship and desperate not to be alone: You keep finding yourself in the arms of some man. You can’t seem to be able to stay single and enjoy it. This is a huge issue because often times when you’re desperate the enemy will send a counterfeit — an Ishmael to fulfill your desire for a man and you’ll end up walking right out of God’s will for your life and acquire all these issues because of it.
  1. You’re willing to compromise just to be with someone: So you convince yourself that this is who God has for you. When you’re willing to be with someone at all costs (even a particular person that your heart is fixed on), your mind will literally LIE to you and tell you that God “said” this man is your husband. And because you want it so bad you’ll run with it. Mortify your flesh. Put your desires on the cross. Fast and pray for God to remove it; it could end up ruining your life.
  1. You’ve gotten several red flags but you’ve been ignoring them: I know this should be obvious but some people really do ignore the clear red flags. PAY ATTENTION to the red flags!!
  1. Insecurities: Your insecurities constantly drive you into the arms of a man or constantly have you thinking about a man. Chances are that God wants to heal you of those insecurities before He begins to deal with you about a husband.
  1. God has not been dealing with you about being married to an earthly husband and it’s clearly not your season for it: Sometimes God will deal with you about marriage but it’s in regards to being married to Him, not to a physical husband. But some of us when we first hear Him talking to us about marriage we run with it and start trying to guess who our husband is, then end up with all these false dreams, false confirmations, and soul ties. Sit down and get further clarification from God because if you have not yet learned to be a faithful wife to God, you will not know how to be a godly wife to your earthly husband.
  2. God clearly told you he ain’t the one: (I know, I know, this should be sooooo obvious, but there are actually women out there who will disobey the voice of God when it comes to this.) Oh, he’s so nice and so fine, he’s such a man of God and he fits perfectly into your “list.” That still doesn’t change what God told you. HE AIN’T THE ONE!! And if that list is mostly carnal stuff then you might want to get rid of it ‘cause it’s leading you astray.  If you’re willing to disobey God even after He clearly gave you instructions, you have bigger problems than wanting a husband. If you’re disobeying Him with this I’m sure there are other areas where you’re being disobedient. Don’t let your flesh override what God has told you.

Update (February 28, 2019):

I have received so many questions and emails since writing this blog post. I just wrote a second part addressing some of those questions. Read ‘I Believe God Told Me Who My Husband Is – Pt. 2’ here: Part 2

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154 thoughts on “I Believe God Told Me Who My Husband Is

  1. What a great testimony. It fiiled my spirit up. I am actually fasting doing and I am asking God to give me another sign that I am doing right waiting for the one I have revelation for. I was actually going out with this man before, a year ago. We meet through his sister and became friends as we were going to the same bible studies. I had a dream that he was siting in my mom couch and was asking me for bread. To skip the details I knew after this dream that it was a confirmation from God so futher that I know we ask me to be his girlfriend with the intention of being his future wife. We were in a godly relationship but didnt put enough boundaries, we were both in our thirties living in our own appartement. We didnt fornicate thank God but we were NOT PURE AT ALL ( I repented from that I saw how the devil find his door to destroy this relationship). After I year, I received a message from him confessing that he had cheated on me only once because I couldnt handle himself anymore that he regret but was tourmented by it so he had to tell me. Anyhow, you can only imagine how devastated I was… I couldnt talk I was only asking myself what did I miss from God, how can myself be in this situation when I consacred all my twenties in God feet. I wasnt even dating anyone because I was waiting on God. Months after the break-up a woman of God who is a pastor’s wife and a friend of mine ask me to reconcider my case, he might be the one Diana but because of the Impurity you open the door to the devil. ( I also have to mention that same Pastor’s wife had a dream 3 months before my future’s husband confession that he left me for another girl)… When I decided to reach out to him months after he was still devastated and fall apart from God. He decided to turn this situation around and said that I let him down and took too long before reaching out to him. God had made a lot of works in my heart and also taught me a lot a principle in marriage. Love is patient, love is kind, it always protects and trust, always HOPE, always PERSEVERE and it never fails. I had several other dreams and other confirmation that He is the one God has for me but it is soooo hard at times, because he refuses to forgive me for non contacting him, I know this battle is not mine but it is the LORD. I did several mistakes by trying to reach out or even convince him but Now I decided to stay silent even though it is hard at times…. I know our God is faithful and he is able to do just what he said he will do. Nothing is IMPOSSIBLE and I believe in miracles. Keep me in prayers, I want to see GOD’S VICTORY!!!

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    • Hello…I would like to reply to your situation…I think that you should pay attention to what you said in this post…a lot is going on here…first God says if we don’t forgive neither will His heavenly Father forgive us….God is showing you many signs and red flags concerning this kind of relationship…second, pray pray pray because i believe that this man is not for you from what you explained…there is wayy to much confusion in this matter…the bible say… “Every good gift and every perfect gifts comes from God” James 1:17…be encouraged blessed woman of God…and seek God’s face for your life and purpose….Amen.

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      • Hi,

        I thank you for your comments, but it’s been a while since I posted this and All I can say is God is faithful. I am not convinced about you telling me its not from God but only time will tell. All I know is Love conquered ALL and nothing real can be treathen.
        God bless you!

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    • Hi Sis, your story is very unique, thanks for sharing. I am glad you put your trust in God… Has anyone else confirmed that he is your husband apart from you? How did you tell that the signs you are getting are from God and not from your flesh?
      My pastor told me it’s so common among the sisters in Christ to be caught up in “God said he’s my husband” they end up waiting for nothing and missing out the one God really had for them. I’m only saying this because you sound like you are in our thirties/forties and I don’t want you to keep waiting for something that’s not yours only to look back and see the wasted years. It almost happened to me!

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  2. I was in a four relationship with this guy that God has recently reveled he is my husband. we broke up after I found out he was cheating on me for over a year. It was sooooo heartbreaking, i was devastated. All I wanted was to move on quickly from that relationship. I had two boyfriends after him, my recent ex-boyfriend engaged someone else while he was with me. I ignored several red flags from God about him because he was a perfect fit for the ideal husband i had in my head. Recently one of my friends told me my ex boyfriend (Four-years relationship) is my husband, she dreamed about our engagement twice.
    I couldn’t believe at first since I was still angry, mad at him for breaking my heart but days later my sister also had a dream me and my ex came home to ask for my hand in marriage.
    I blocked him in all my contacts and social media after our break up, days later after my sister told me I decided to unblock him and contacted him. He is still dating the girl he was cheating on me with, I have no idea how things will work out but I have faith God will do as he promised.
    Thank you for a little light on “waiting-doubting-faith process” it hard at times to like sit around and let things happen. Huuh

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    • I’m no expert, but after hearing your story I feel there are a few things that may show that this is a flesh led hope and not a God led hope.

      1. He cheated on you. Meaning he didn’t value you enough to pursue you only.

      2. After hearing from God, instead of gaining peace about the situation and waiting on His timing, YOU went and pursued HIM(the guy). This is called forcing God’s hand. It’s up to the guy to act on the desire God placed in his heart to pursue you, if he is your husband. I think you contacted him because you were so confused/anxious/uncertain about what was being spoken to you.

      3.When you pursued him you realized he was still with that other girl. There was no sudden divine and miraculous change in this guy. He wasn’t staying single and telling you that he was waiting for his God ordained wife. Nope, he was still doing the same thing he was doing before(dating another woman). Why would you want to marry a guy that hasn’t changed from his old ways and habits?

      I’m not trying to crush your hopes or anything, but if you gain peace about anything that I’ve spoken, I think you should actually take this to God in prayer and let Him confirm to YOU and not other people doing so. He could be your husband, but it seems more like the trick of the enemy to confuse and mess with your emotions that you had for him from your past than God.

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    • Please know that dreams can also be from the enemy. If you are uncertain about a dream, ask God for confirmation. Don’t base such important decisions on dreams that other people have had, or even that you have had.

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  3. Wow…!! Thank you!!

    I am going through similar things in terms of God showing me who my husband is and for a while I have been having faith and doubts about it. Especially because I felt everything should happen as soon as possible and the feeling that I have to urge or give the young man some hints. I am so grateful to God for leading me to your blog. I know I need to come to a place of rest on the matter; which only God can give. Another thing you touched on is dealing with lustful thoughts towards the brother; my my… thank you for addressing this.
    Secondly, is not being preoccupied with the whole marriage thing and not policing what God has said to us which I find myself doing.

    I have been laughing at myself since reading your story. You touched on some points that the Holy Spirit have been trying to get through to me.

    God bless you for being a blessing to me. Your story has encouraged me to simply trust God. I am definitely going to run with what you’ve said and I know that He will make all things beautiful in His time.

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    • I agree with u my sister.I pray that God may forgive me for trying to take matters in my own hands.I have learnt a lot from this blog.iam now standing on Gods word according to Habakkuk 2:3..God bless.

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  4. I wish I had found this a few ago. I met a man in the fall and over the past several months I felt that God was changing my heart to love this man and telling me he was the one. I also heard God saying over and over to be patient and wait. I was not patient and I contacted him on a dating website that we are both on. He responded 2 weeks later saying he was chatting with someone else and wished me luck. I am not sure what to believe. Was I really hearing from God (how could I have been misled for over 6 months, my discernment has been so strong for years), was I disobedient when I pushed the issue and let my feelings be known? Was he not there yet with his feelings? It took God some time to change my heart, maybe that’s what he was doing with him? I still feel God telling me to be patient and wait amidst so many other voices of doubt and sabotage. “He’s just not that into you”… Some friends are telling me to move on, others say my discernment was wrong, others say to wait. I obviously told way to many people. I’m nearly 38 and it just felt so peaceful to know with certainty that God was going to provide for me. Now that is lost. I feel like I should continue waiting. I feel so confused… any feedback would be so appreciated.

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    • I can understand the portion about telling too many people. Our ideas of what the pursuit should look like in this world even amongst Christians is off. Sadly when people don’t see it happening right away or how they think it should be happening they quickly without praying even advise us to let it go and move on. That dwindles at our faith I recently realized that, God has been telling me to be quiet and not share everything so quickly even confirmation in regards to other areas of my life. Learn from it and strive to put the word on the shelf daily, I say daily because for me I think of it almost daily and I have to remind myself to keep my eyes focused on JESUS.

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  5. Thank you so much for this post. I’m in this exact situation with a very great man of God and a missionary who has been to over 50 countries of the world preaching the gospel. We met through a mutual friend when he was in South Africa for a missionary trip and after been friends for two weeks then he asked me to be in a relationship with him. After two months of dating, the lord revealed clearly to me that he is my husband. This revelation has occured so many times, and the time of waiting is really long but I believe God will bring his words to pass in my life.

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  6. thank you for writing this..about 2 years ago, I thought I received a name and month from the Lord of when I would meet someone (presumably my future husband). I waited and right before our meeting, I knew he was not saved. I met a person with that name and he began attending my church and was interested in God and me! After some time, we both pulled away, mainly because of my wanting to remain pure. Before that happened, I sensed the Holy Spirit’s presence and more instruction about responding to this man’s inquiries (which all came to pass). I received prayer and advice from a few people, some practical, good advice and some thought maybe I didn’t hear from the Lord (since I was stressed). Anyways, I have grown tremendously during this time of waiting, praise God. I see a lot of healing occurring in my life. Still, I let myself wonder, when? why? how? what? in the world. I turn down any other men who ask me on dates, because I just want what the Lord has, to be obedient, despite my flesh wanting to rebel. I look forward to growing more and more in the Lord. I hope to be patient and loving in my thoughts and actions towards others and myself as I wait in this season of my life..God bless you sister!

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    • Hi, I am in exact the same position! I heard a name from God! Later on, a brethren confirmed that name. Nothing else. I have turned so many people down as a result as I don’t want to miss what God has for me…buts it’s been two years…and I’m wondering if I heard right.

      Are you guys together now?

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      • Hi,

        He reach out to me and we agreed on meeting eachother soon. I am praying and fasting to not interefere with God’s plan. When the time is right we will meet and God will do the rest.

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  7. Wow I ‘ve been looking for this kind of article so long. Thank you! It was insightful and full of wisdom. I learned a lot from it! Thank you again and God bless!

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  8. Afternoon

    i find the messages above helpful,kindly reply me on my email if possible i would like to ask a few questions regarding my own situation.

    thank you.

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  9. Thank you for sharing your testimony. This post is helpful. I am still in my waiting season. I trust God that when the right time comes, I will marry the man He has chosen for me. For now, I will continue to get to know God more and allow Him to change me.

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  10. helo .m 17 .. with confusion.. i dont know what m doing is it right or not?.. ok so in short.. one night i was so sad and i prayed god .. i want to love someone just person.. no affairs.. i dont want to do any flirt stuff.. so …a guy ..he was singer …i saw him and he was singing a song.. and i just really felt strong connection in his voice.. yes being honest it was only with his voice not himself .. ok….time passed… and one day i saw his pic ..after that .. i just attracted towards him and …. the story begin at one side..those eyes were so deep i couldnt even imagine…. he was different.. but as i was attracted by his pic …. yes i said its is attraction offcourse.. i attracted towards his face.. right.. so i ignored.. yes . truly i ignored i didnt want to attract .. i wantted to love.. .. and time passed i started to feel for him agian and again.. i was sad .. bcz i was thinking .. it is my attraction.. i truly believed it is attraction..as i attracted by his eyes.. so one day … i just was going to finish it.. and i asked god..tell him .. he is going to be my future husband.. so show me his name writeen somewhere .. before reaching my home.. as i was with my sister who was driving .. ok this was my pray .. ok ..from hurt i wanted to know.. i had right to know offcourse.. so i started to find his name.. all over… honesly… as long as i tried i didnt find..haha. i was broken my heart was broken. bcz a plain road came.. i know there would not be any board.. with his name ..or any wall ..with his name written on it. so i was broken.. i thought.. i will not get anybody in my life..with whom i could truly love… who would love this dumb girl.. so … magic begins.. i heart was dead.. i was super broken.. and i looked up and saw a board and there was his name written .. darshan acedemy ..wowww… that was just awesome i fully lost hope…but at that time i got my answer i yes… he is my future husband.. wow… aamzing moment.. this happend lots of times i doubt. and one more time i would say … that was also so big moment for me was.. at that day .. i was on my way to my school ..and i said god.. if darshan is my husband …then before reaching to school show me his name written somewhere .. or his surname..his surname is really rare.. so chances were low.. so all the way didnt get any single sign … and i was broken.. but .. i was just going to reach my school… and you know.hah.. my head was down.. i was looking on road .. not around.. i was looking at him feet means.. not on what was there.. so suddenly … it was the point my school was just coming.. i was going to stuck by truck.. i was shifted to right side and as i looked at that truck.. as i looked up .. i saw his name writeen … it was another great experience.. but now the serious part… i wasnt christain.. at that time..i used to hindu.. and .. but ..i believe yes it was from god… yes… and you know i was promised in june 2016 we gonna meet each other..and he will tell me that he loved me.. but near about march 2016..i started to use facebook just because of darshan but i couldnt contact him and i got addicted to chat feature and i started to flirt with other boys it was something like hey baby .. and attracting the another boy it was . on social evil facebook.. i was little being flirty .. i knew it was wrong.. but i continued.. bcz facebook chat became my addiction..and i couldnt stop it.. i met another boy on social site.. his name was Aman and i didnt know..who he was bcz he didnt post any single pic of him..just quotes.. were posted.. and .. i started to deeply attract towards him …and i thought ..aman was actually darshan… his nature as i thought … was same as i supposed of darshan… and as a result of this maybe.. i lost that blessing of meeting darshan in june 2017 … so my affair with aman continued till dec 2016 maybe … it was only chat flirt on facebook… nothing physical.. so it was my broken period…of life.. in feb 2017 …. after long research i started to beilive in jesus as he is the only way ..the truth.. i started to know jesus..i asked for peace.. he given me .. and it was so good.. i felt the peace … but for sometime near about april to may 2017 i started and ended up talking to him as now i realized he was a big wall between me and darshan.. from the start to now… everyday i thought about darshan … even when i was with aman.. so it was time to take serious actions.. i said go away from me to aman.. and i deleted my fb account. as he was again and again contacting me … so my way was clear.. i was blessed with men .. and it was brokenn… i asked jesus and i think i got was yes.. but it wasnt clear.. so after many weeks again i asked jesus is darshan going to be my future husband.. he said yes.. i mean i used a coin to ask .. one side i selected was no and the other was yes.. and i said god.. i have right to know the men that is in my mind is he mine.. and your answer is always yes or no… and satan answer is not direct.. he gives us pain..i read somewhat in verses please answer … i got yes. he was my man… and i said i willnot think about him and talk about him all the day as i used to do .. i will praise you jesus and this was something i said before asking .. i did this after getting my answer but after somedays i forget it and again i started to think about darshan all the day.. night i cried to jesus to make his even bestfriend on instagram so that i could talk to him and know him and discuss my problems with him and i said i wont tell him but i got nothing .. as i was not allowed by god.. and … time passed … and as i decided i wont talk to other boys now.. i again broken it .. when i was depressed .. i started to chat to guyz… yes not in flirt way… but in normal way.. but i felt .. i was attracted to chat to them … maybe my intentions are wrong.. maybe i seek for bf.. as i am in girls college.. worst thing.. no fun..so.. now … as i used to think about darshan i felt so much pain i missed him so bad… so bad i started to see his dreams … when we would be together how we will spend time .. many things… means many things..you can understand i think.. and .. as i used to walk up each day.. i used to ask why i am so and why am away from him ..wish i could be with him .. i missed so bad.. i used to look at his pic s sometimes and used to little smile .. and ..the pain ..was hard.. and i said why jesus … isnt it possible if i could hate him till your timing isnt coming … when that moment is cominng.. work at my heart again and fill my heart with lots of love for him again… it sounds weird right.. but i was in pain .. that made me pray that … you know .. one day my heart just broken .. and day passed . and one day .. i made facebook account again.. but it was only for work purpose but yes god stopped me from sign up .. but i thought i was just going to get some guidance from people in my field coding .. and for once i looked for aman account … and then i decided i should delte my account .. but .. this time i was stopped to delte.. and now i decided i will not check aman profile again it is god wanted from me.. and next day i saw darshan’s video and .. his friends were talking about his ( vitamin She ) .. means crush..he said something “Oo she is already laufhing there ” and he pointed his finger there …and then he talked about his school classmate . it was ok as she was just from school.. yup … not in his life.. but that scean.. it broken my heart that he has gf for now.. it just killed me ..somewhat i hated him that the man i trusted the most blindly.. loved so much i believed he is my mr one.. he cheated me.. .. but how can he cheat he doesnt even know me.. yet.. maybe he knows or maybe he not.. .. now i started to think really is he mine man… or its just my subconsicious mind making me believe that…he am super sad… i dont need his money …. or anything else.. i just want his true love for me.. i want respect from him.. i feel the pain that how another girl can see go away from him … as if he has gf she has that right.. now my heart is broken.. dont know what to do..

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  11. Coming across this article right now is undoubtedly God. There were so many things that you said that I needed to be reminded of, and it has me in awe. God really works in mysterious ways, and has such a sense of humor. I don’t want to get into any detail because God know’s that he’s hit the nail on the head for me today, but I wanted to thank you for allowing God to work in you. For allowing Him to speak through you. I pray that this article will settle the hearts of many other young women going through this, and in this season of their wait. Such a blessing!

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  12. Hi
    Oh thanks for the article ….I learnt alot but I’m also confused with regards to my situation.
    In 2013 I dated a guy but it only lasted for less than a month and he ended the relationship. The reason was God told him to end it as it was going to distract him from preaching the gospel.

    This (2017) the same guy came back to me and I welcomed him back in to my life. We had questions about him getting a confirmation from God but He told me that he did not hear anything as a confirmation from God but he doesn’t want to loose me.

    We dated for 2 months and then I ended the relationship as I was not at peace with being with him…..while I knew very well that God did not tell me to be with him. We then got back together for a few months and the we had a deep chat about us not doing what God wants us to do coz we are together but nobody got a confirmation.

    I’ve had dreams of myself being pregnant \getting married and then there was a prophetic word that I will get married to a Pastor very soon. He also had dreams where God was telling him that ” the lady is ready for marriage are you?”

    We then agreed to stop chatting and calling each other for month but the past days the guy has been calling and texting me saying that He can’t imagine another lady in his life except me and he speaks about marriage and the future.

    He even told me that when he prayed for a wife all the characteristics he mentioned I found in me but somehow he feels like the enemy is trying to distract him. Oh the guy is 23 and I’m 25 . His will complete his degree next year June and he mentioned that if he was working he would have done something.

    What must I do, must I stop the guy from texting me and calling me ? What if his the one or vice verse? How do I cut this communication between us without hurting him ?

    Thanks
    Slender

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    • Hey Slender,

      I’m sure the author will provide a response. But I would encourage you to give God a time limit for one more firm, certain, without-a-shadow-of-a-doubt confirmation. “Lord, I want your will done in my life. I want your will done his life. If this is the man you would have me to marry, please confirm it by September 30th. If I don’t hear from you Lord, I know it is time for me to walk away. I just want to be obedient.”

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  13. Hello i love your story i just wrote a long story about my story but to keep it short this time i am a back slidder i was marry in 2009 i divorecd my husband for one reason who was Jealousy over my relationship with God but he was also a christian. My pastor told me he was goin to try to pull me away from God and he did 2012 i felt in a same relationship then one day i met my nephew girlfriend brother that same year but he never said a word to me over the next 4yrs he kept askin about me but i couldnt even remember meetin him bcuz we never said nothing to each other to fast forward doin my birthday last yr nov2016. I finally had a conversation with him begingin of this yr we had sex and while i was fallin a sleep i saw a crown on his head and i kept tellin him that i feel God us usin me to keep minister to him its so much to tell but am keep it short errtime i pray its like i have to pray for him and errtime we talk i b talkin spiritually not evenin too it just cum out now he is a change person even thou he live in Va. And i move to Ga. We still talk and we are growin in christ together and he keep tellin me that am the one and i believe it to bcuz we both us growin spiritually . And he keep tellin me how much i encourage him and he isnt givin up on me. I truly feel a spiritually connection with he told me he feel with God and me by his side u could be happy. P.s. doin the 5yrs with that girl i pray God would send me a husband could he be him? And like u said far as God workin on you its so true bcuz bein here in Atl with no family and errthing i am goin through i have no choice but lean on God

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  15. Thank you for your post. I am someone who, 19 years ago, dreamed of my whole life to be, all the major stepping stones. So far, 42 things have come true. I dreamed of my husband to be and recently met him. It is not the right time for both of us. I’m still healing from trauma from my childhood. I apperciate your story because it gives me something to relate to.

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  16. I just told the guy God told me is my husband that I liked him out of the proper time! and I NEED YOUR ADVICE, I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO T.T I met him in a Christian meeting, while the ministration the holy spirit used him to speak to me and vice-versa, he answered us prior requests we had before God (it was glorious). The thing is, after that we became very close friends, really good ones to the point, of texting every single day, hanging out a lot… But, even though God made it clear to me to wait, and that it wasn’t the time yet, I let my flesh to believe that he was falling for me because the very special way he used to treat me, and I started to develop feelings for him.

    One day, this guy told me he was kind of interested in a girl at his church, and I was devastated and started to doubt if it was God that really spoke to me (those days I wasn’t praying enough, so my faith was weak) and I was already desperate, asking for advice to anybody WRONG!! and WRONG!!, I just hear from them: -Have a conversation with him and make things clear since he doesn’t say anything about his feeling for you but treat you that way… Well because that “waiting process” was SO HARD for me while having a friendship with him, I just did what ppl advised me. T.T

    I was expecting him to drop me, and I was willing to leave, BUT to my surprise, even though he told me he would like to be with someone but doesn’t want to lose the focus of his ministry, and that I put him in a hard situation because he didn’t know I had feelings for him and he always has seen me as a very good friend, he told me LET’S PRAY! and Let’s ask God for direction to make us know what best for us.

    I should have been happy, but I wasn’t, because I knew I didn’t please God with my behavior and I was rushing things, and respect to the other girl he told me he isn’t in love with her, just find her pretty and friendly, etc. I wasn’t just comfortable with the entire situation, that two days later I asked him that we would stop praying and that I would take some space since I felt really bad because I know chase and pursue is men’s responsibility.

    We stopped talking for a few of days… But he has tried to contact me, called me one day and has texted me a couple of others AS IF NOTHING has happened… I didn’t really stop praying I continued asking God for another confirmation despite things turned this way, because I knew in my spirit It was God that spoke to me (through many dreams), telling me he is my husband… Some days later after asking for confirmation, someone that doesn’t know about this situation at all, and doesn’t know him either had a revelation of me marrying a guy with his physical characteristic (So God’s confirmation).

    And here I am, I know he is my husband, but I don’t know what to do since isn’t the time yet. Should I continue being his friend or should I take my distance… I feel reaaally bad (I am in tears) because I didn’t wait and disobeyed God, I feel I SABOTAGED God’s plans for me. 😦

    This time I really want to obey God and not be led by my emotions, any advice on what to do right now after my confession, please? Thanks in advance my sisters and brothers in Christ, Thanks.

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  17. THANK YOU!!! This is exactly what I needed to hear. I am a man struggling with this, so it’s a bit different, but my gosh it’s so, so difficult at times. Now is one of those times, and I asked God for some encouragement, and here it is. Thank you for sharing.

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  18. Great post! I recently dated a man for three years. He broke up with me because he wanted to continue fulfilling God’s purpose in him and he wasnt sure where that would lead us. He didnt want us to end up resenting one another in the end. We broke up in September, but Ive had some coincidences that I believe was God telling me things. Ive asked for red flags if I’m hearing wrong and Ive gotten nothing for months. I believe he is my husband to be. I keep hearing God saying wait and not yet. When I ask why I get you both arent ready yet. Hoping it all works out for the both of us. We really want God’s will to be done and we pray for one another as well. We recently stopped talking. This article was good though. I was able to compare it to my situation and come up with a conclusion. I do believe this time is for me to really draw as close to God as possible. Thank you again!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Unbelievable. I have finally found answers to my questions.
    I had a revelation concerning my husband. God revealed to me who he was. In the dream the nan was anonymous. But God revealed him to be my future husband. I eventually met him we were in touch. Before I could realize my dream ,he asked me out. It was later I realized I had a dream in which I saw that particular man. This was because all the details were pointing in his direction. The mistake I made was to share the dream with him before he could as well hear from God.
    An unknown fake prophet prophesied to him that I was fake and the marriage was not from God. I know what I saw. But now the opposite is the case. I have learnt my lessons. I shouldn’t have responded in the flesh what God showed me in spirit… Thank you. I have been helped.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Thank you! I believe that God has revealed to me who my husband is but didn’t know if God worked like that. So, to hear your story has been a blessing. I am remaining open as you recommend and being careful as well. I wish that I could have seen your story earlier as I’ve made some mistakes, yet the friendship has remained. I know things come to us at the right time, so I believe now was the right time for me to read your story. The Lord is good.

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  21. Thank you for your sharing and testimony..I am so blessed..and now I feel peace while waiting God’s time and not pursue the guy even though I believed God told me in my dream that he is the one..

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Thank you so much for writing this! It is exactly what I needed to hear and what the Holy Spirit has been trying to teach me. I recently have been in a lot of prayer about my future husband. For a long time I doubted that God had “the one” out there for me. I believed that people just chose their own spouse it was just dumb luck if a relationship worked out. I only knew of a few married people who God told and confirmed to them that someone was the “one.”
    ((This is my story, although I will leave out most the details as it hasn’t all played out fully yet. I probably shouldn’t even share this yet, as only 2 ppl in my life know this.))
    Finally one night a few months ago, I realized how stupid it was that I believed in God’s goodness for other areas of my life but didn’t believe He had a good godly man for me.
    Suddenly I felt my faith grow and I repented for not trusting Him and then thanked Him that He had such a man planned for me. Then I asked God for his name and occupation. He answered both my questions! To be honest I only believed half of it. It was all so specific. The next day I thought I was crazy. I tried figuring out how my mind came up with this odd, made up name. I decided I was crazy and forgot about it. Then one day driving home from work I was praying in the spirit and started praying for my future husband. I started out like this, “God I don’t know if (insert name) is a person or place or what, but…” And I started rebuking Satan from keeping us apart and PRAYED that God would bring us together somehow; that we would find each other through whatever means, be it (christian dating site) or some other way. I felt this assurance in my spirit that it was a real person I was praying for. After that I forgot about it. Shortly after joined a Christian dating site. I didn’t really talk to many ppl but finally came across this guy. I hastily read his profile and messaged him. And waited…and waited. Finally he wrote me back. We talked for awhile and I had this weird feeling of peace and “the hunt is over”. Then I looked what his name was for the first time….and I completely freaked out. He is exactly who God told me about!!! We’ve video chatted the first time for hours, but I feel that I’ve been to pushy. So I’m taking your advice to wait, be friends (as he clearly wants to be just that right now), and let God reveal to him what I already know. And it’s hard. So hard!! But I’m relying on God for the perseverance to wait, asking him for the courage to just be friends until the time comes.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Hi everyone! This post has gotten and continues to get so many comments that I cannot keep up with all of them. I pray that the posts I’ve written so far have helped to answer some of your questions but the Holy Spirit is honestly the best counsel we can seek in any matter. As you seek Him, He will make things clear.

    One of the questions I get asked the most is “what do I do while I’m waiting.” I just wrote a post with some tips on what to do while you wait, you can read it here: https://deborahjheartofworship.com/2018/04/30/while-im-waiting/

    I’d also like to remind everyone that no matter what you believe God told you or what your desire is concerning marriage, to keep your eyes and heart on the Lord. Do not let anything distract you from your relationship with God. Our greatest desire should be to grow in intimacy with Him daily. No one can satisfy like the Lord.

    Love you all and I am so glad and encouraged to know that these blog posts are helping you all! ❤

    Like

    • Thank you for writing this article! I’ve had a confirmation (several actually) from God regarding who my husband is. But I feel so confused on what to do now. You said “Your job is to simply wait and treat him like any other brother in Christ”. Okay, how do I do that? I’m on the worship team with him (and I spend time with his family as well) and I wonder should I ignore him? That would be SO RUDE considering I’m friendly and talkative to everyone on the Worship Team. Would being polite and conversational mess up God’s plan?

      Can I talk to him? Should I talk to him? Can I say “hello” or “good morning”? I discovered that we have a mutual interest and would love to ask him about it. Is all of this bad and considered “not waiting” or even worse “pursuing him”? I’m just so excited and I want to get to know him more. But, I’m so confused about what it means to be pursued. Should I wait until he talks to me? That sounds SO petty and childish though. He’s a very shy and introverted type of guy. The only times he’s talked to me he either ran away quickly or looked at the ground while doing so. Mainly, I’ll catch him gazing at me upon which he’ll look away quickly. He’s not the “burly-Masculine-Macho” type of guy that just walks up to a woman with his chest stuck out and makes small talk.

      Please, I could use some insight here. :\

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  24. Hi.
    My parents have been friends with this married couple that have 5 kids for something like 20 years or so. They have 3 boys and 2 girls, their youngest son. We never really talked and when we were 7 and 9 he use to jump out of a room or from behind a random object and scare the live daylights out of me. Now we just don’t really say much then hi and bye. But about 6 months ago I had a random dream with him in it. I didn’t think to much of it. But then when I was talking to my mom about the kind of man I wanted to marry the man that kept on popping up as that image looked like an older version of him. I tried and tried to picture someone else but it suck. So that night I asked god to just give me a dream with him in it, but he didn’t have to be the main part of the dream. Well he was in 2 or 3 dreams that night. I still ask randomly. I then asked if he is the one please give me feelings so I can understand. Manly because I don’t like him like that and I don’t want to marry him because he reminds me of my bother and we never talk. Recently I am starting to get feelings for him. I am finding hard to understand if it is just me being a kid or if it is God. Like why would he show me now.
    What you said about pursue me, that is really hard. It is starting to feel like it will never happen.
    There was a baby shower for his brothers newborn daughter, my parents god son.
    He looked like he wanted to say something more then once but he looked nervous and he walked away he kept on doing this

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Hi is there a way to delete a comment? I don’t want someone to see it. I was going to delete it but I lost my mind and pressed post comment.

    Like

  26. I didn’t realize that I didn’t clarify that I asked God to give me a dream with him in it if he wanted me to marry him.
    Not just a dream that would be creepy.
    Soooooo sorry.
    What I said sounded so creepy.
    When I did I check I didn’t see that.
    I am so embarrassed.

    Like

  27. Thanks for your words of wisdom! Love you sister! And I love how you write. Its just as if you are sitting across from me speaking. Thank you for the comfort and the care in your instructions and guidance. May God bless and fill your life abundantly.

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  28. Am in love with a single prophet who said to also love..according to him he once saw me in his dream so as me..but if recent he asked to start seeing him as my brother and nothing more than that..am confused cos he was said to hear from God that he is my future husband..but I think he is not ready for marriage now..so please what do I do

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  29. Am in love with a single prophet who said to also love me..he is so spiritual…according to him he once saw me in his dream so as me..but of recent he asked to start seeing him as my brother and nothing more than that..am confused cos he said to hear from God that he is my future husband..but I think he is not ready for marriage now..so please what do I do

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  30. Thank you so much for this wisdom filled article. I am finding myself in this situation at present and I can recognise myself in some of the things you described. I admit that I’m finding the wait hard at times but I can understand the purpose and the preparation process. I do get frustrated, I doubt and I even cried once but I trust God’s word will not come back to him void so I pray for patience when I feel overwhelmed. We were strangers when the word was revealed to me and I prayed a similar prayer to yours and from strangers we became close friends. I think that I was getting frustrated because I was use to dating in the world and it happens so fast in the world and this was my only reference and God had to remind me that this time it is different, he is sending a Man of God. I’ve had many confirmations so final step is for him to step forward really. I have a few trustworthy friends praying with me and 2 mentors (married Women of God). I needed to read this today as I had a meltdown yesterday and I was saying to myself ” I can’t do this anymore, I don’t want to pray for this anymore”. Thanks again.

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  31. Hi.
    I would like to share about what happened to me.
    Let me say first that I agree and second every.single.word Debora wrote. It is wise.
    I do believe God can reveal whom you will get married too because he is greater and He does as He pleases.

    Now, this is my story.
    I have been a Christian for a long time. I long for marriage. I am 37. I have never dated.
    A few years ago I prayed God to make me patient. A few days later, I prayed that I would understand what faith is.
    Another few days later, I received a vision (for the first time): in this vision, I was dating someone (I couln’t see his face). He was not really caring about me and I was doubting. As I longed and prayed to get married, I was happy because the vision showed I was dating someone.
    3 weeks later, I suddenly realized a man I knew answered every.single.prayer I had made about my future husband. He had everything I longed for –in this personality, gifts and more. I wanted someone gentle and patient, he was. I wanted to serve God with my husband, well we both shared the same passion and both wanted to serve God with it. I realized I felt home when he was there.
    The next is I felt was doubt. Was he the one in the vision? Was God trying to tell me something there?
    I fell in love but struggle for about 6 months about the ‘revelation’. I started looking for advice and people listened to me, telling me God was greater than my theology (I thought it was not possible for God to reveal this). I read testimonies. I was convinced. For a year after that, crazy things happened: God confirmed the whole thing in many different ways:
    * circumstances –though we lived 500miles apart from each other, we had numerous unexpected opportunities to see each other, work together, minister together and get to know each other.
    He said and did things that appealed to my inner self, that soothed me. Whenever I missed him, I just prayed and he would happen to call me for whatever reason. I had unexpected opportunities to befriend his brother, which was important to me as an only child. Etc.
    During all this time I never told him how I felt about him.
    * his word. God gave me the story of Lazarus and every single detail of the story stuck to my story. People who knew nothing about God talking to me that way gave me the story to give me hope.
    At church –more than once the songs or the sermon or the Bible study directly related to my situation.
    *a dream! At some point, I made a dream about a situation with him. When I woke up it seemed non-sense to me. A year later, it came to pass without me having anything to do –I had even opposed to the situation (and I didn’t get it my own way) before realizing it was a fulfilment of the dream.
    * other people. People who didn’t know came up to me suggesting me we should date. Whenever I told people I was in live with someone, they would think of him.
    A random man once came to me and started telling me about him calling him ‘my husband’ for no reason (we were not near each other, not even talking to or looking at each other)
    Sometimes people told me stuff that was directly related to my situation.

    So yes, I believed this man was the love of my life.

    After 18 months of waiting, I was about to die. I fasted, cried and prayed. And all of the sudden, things grew better. We grew closer. Talked more. And more. And more. I could tell he wanted to spend time with me. We eventually spent a whole week together, just the two of us, visiting another country, just as friends. I was expecting more but we didn’t date. In spite of the disappointment, that week together was great. Great fun, great conversations. It confirmed I wanted to get married to this guy. When we came back, I could tell he had feelings for me –some people even came to me and told me “he loves you –I can tell from the way he’s looking at you.” However, he started feeling confused. After a month I asked him to stop getting in touch and to make a decision. After another month, he said he “thought” he only saw me as a friend.
    Long story short, a week after his answer I decided to hang on to hope. I did go through a mourning phase – not talking to him and choosing not to give him what he wanted- a close friendship. We didn’t get in touch for a long time. I tried to move on and forget about him but hope was stronger and I was encouraged by more sermons/ readings. I was a total wreck though: cried a lot, slept little, my whole body ached. After 8 months, God started telling me the whole thing was coming to an end. And what happened is, we started talking again. Circumstances brought him to my city and my church. I thought we were there. But nothing happened. I prayed more and more and studied stories of deliverance in the Bible. I could feel it was coming. I was still exhausted by all the waiting –it had been 3 years and counting!!
    After 11 months, all of the sudden God took all my emotional exhaustion away. I started feeling better –a miracle. I didn’t do anything special, and it just happened. I then realized deliverance was really on its way!!
    Not long after that he finally wrote.
    And he told me he had met someone and started a relationship.
    The waiting was over.
    But I will never marry him.

    This was a week ago.

    How do I feel? I promised God I would share my testimony once it would be over so here it is.
    My dream man is not longer on the agenda, he is someone else’s.
    I don’t know what happened. I don’t know why God led me on that path for 3 years. Every time I thought I received something I would share with close friends so that I would be sure I wasn’t being foolish. After it was over, they all told me God HAD talked.
    So yes –I do not understand. But God who talked to me is also taking care of me right now. I hardly feel the pain, I am already forgetting about this man I loved so much. The feelings are still there for sure. But I feel God is right there, preventing the doubts and the questions. I am at peace with what happened, I am at peace with the outcome. I don’t feel bad, I don’t feel crushed. There would be more to tell about what happened the days before/ after the guy told me he was dating someone else, because it is sheer miracle performed from Heaven to help me go throgh this unharmed. Remember how Daniel’s friends were in the fiery furnace with a fourth man? When they came out the smell of the fire had not passed on them (Daniel 3.27). This is what is happening to me right now.

    Does God tell people who their spouse is? I think he can do that.
    Did it happen to me? Well, circumstances are against me.
    I like everything to be crystal clear. None of this sticks to my theology. I did not ask for a vision, I did not ask all this. I don’t know.
    But I can truly say God was there every single step of the way and never ever left me.
    I love Him more than ever  and I wish ti give Him glory because I promised I would.

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  32. God had shown me who my husband is and I kinda think he gave me his name 4 years ago, but for years now I kept seeing two guys. one is with an army outfit (btw I have a friend who’s in the marines) and the other guy has blue eyes. I mean I went to a psychic before and she even couldn’t tell me who the guy in the army outfit. I just wish God would just tell me his name already..

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  33. Thank you for this article. It’s very freeing.

    I just want to understand WHY would God tell me who my husband is? I never requested to know and knowing is frustrating.

    I was very happy and he didn’t exist in my world, before knowing. The guy has a girlfriend whom he obviously dearly loves. Why tell me?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Because God will use the journey of you knowing this information and having to trust Him, having to wait patiently on Him and all of the work He will do in the interim. I also asked this question because I was fine before and actually accepted that I was always going to be single. And now I have entered a torturous wilderness of waiting with nothing happening week after week (I see this guy most Sundays at church). I cannot tell you the moulding and sanctification that this has brought about in my character. One of the hardest things is learning to “park it” and give God all of your focus.

      God’s ways are amazing and so much higher than ours. Prov 3:5&6: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.

      Liked by 1 person

  34. I have been single for 7 years and received a prophecy about 6 years ago regarding who my husband is and the specific things to watch for.Alot of what this pastor said came to pass and I have had dreams and another prophetic word about it.Alot has happened since I moved to another country and went through a period of illness.To add I evwn ended up in a fling with a guy that wasnt saved out of loliness amd impatience.the pastor warned me to end it and it ended quickly.I regretted that mistake deeply.I refocused my life and remain pure in God waiting for this prophecy to come to pass.I would curve every guy and just keep to myself.At one point it seemed as if I was completely invisible.I wemt through a period where I did not even think of it.I would encoubter men and have lustful thoughts which ofcourse I kept to myself.Anyway Its been so long i would not say i have given up Im just waiting and dont think about but it hurts at times.Finally God opened a door for me to attend a christian university.I have the opportunities to do a work for him somethibg I was praying for.I also met a guy who was literally the only one being nice and helping me out l.He is so holy and studying to become a pastor.He makes me realize how much more i need God.He is very inspiring disciplined amd focus on God.I found self having feelings for him and realized its mutual but ofcourse he being a man of God is taking his time.I didnt ask God about it at first cuz Im waiting on this prophecy and he dont match it.I wished to see him in my heart one day and I did in the oddest place.I also prayed asking God to see him and i did.ImI dont want ro make another mistake and I dont kbow if Im waiting in vain.7 years is long and some days im fighting through heart ache.I cant help how i feel but im asking God to remove these feelings please if this is another trap I cant lose my prophecy? What are your thoughts?

    Liked by 1 person

  35. This blessed me so much. God spoke to me 5 years ago and told me that my best friend was His will for us. I thought I was a bit delusional until others were confirming it without me saying anything. Pastors, elders , Godly people in my life. So over the last 5 years I’ve finally believed it. Problem here is he loves me as his friend but doesn’t want me as a wife. I did all the wrong things , I shared with him what God had said and what everyone else has said. A long time ago (unknown to me until recently) God spoke to him and ask him IF He ask him to marry me then would he? My friend said no. My friend says that God has not said anything to him since. I should have kept all of this in my heart and let him Pursue me but now I feel like I’ve ruined it all.
    God has made us very close (no physical) , we call this the elephant in the room.
    Even last night at a conference at church , a woman said she saw us married.
    I’m not desperate to get married, we both are Spirit filled , sold out christians.
    This kind of thing has never happened to me before and I have not always handled it well.

    Thank you for such an awesome article. Jodi Covington

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  36. Hey everyone!

    Just wanted to share a few announcements regarding this blog:

    So, it’s a new year and God has been speaking to me about some things that He wants me to do with this blog. I’m in the process of starting those things now. So be on the lookout for:

    (1) A new look and design
    (2) “Heart of Worship” gear and store (shirts, bags, mugs, etc.)
    (3) Speaking engagements (I’m now open to taking speaking engagements. You can find the booking request form under the contact tab.)
    (4) Webinars/Live video teachings (It’s time to get more up close and personal with my readers! I get a loooot of emails and comments from many of you, especially in the area of relationships. My heart is really to see people grow in their relationship with God and I believe this will help do that even more. Lord willing, I will do some live Q&A’s and topic studies this year. Let me know under this comment what topics you would like to hear me cover and I will prayerfully consider them).

    I look forward to hearing what topics you all would like me to speak on and I’m excited to see the growth in each of your lives!

    God bless! 🙂 ❤

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