immorality – lust, perversion, masturbation, pornography, fornication, sex
dreams, etc. – we’ve all experienced it in one form or the other. Earlier on in
my walk with the Lord, I have personally dealt with sexual immorality in
different ways. Although I remained a virgin until marriage, I dealt with lust
and masturbation which of course led to sex dreams and fantasies. I had to
first acknowledge that it was a problem and that it was a sin before God before
I could be delivered from it. Even though I wasn’t having sex, it was still not
pleasing to God. My deliverance came in many stages and it took A LOT of
self-denial. There were times where it seemed like I took 2 steps forward only
to go 4 steps back. It was tough and it took some time for me to fully get
free, but I did eventually get free by the grace of God.
There came a point that I got sick and tired of getting beat up by the enemy and giving in to my flesh, so I started to deal with the issue head-on. One of the main things that helped me to overcome was finding Bible verses about the topic and using them to fight. I would write them down, memorize them, meditate on them, and recite them especially when the temptation arose. I learned to war with the word of God and pray the word of God over my mind, my emotions, my body, my soul, and against the fiery darts of the enemy. Some days the battle was so intense that I would have to recite them to myself while looking at myself in the mirror. There were even times that I would have to recite them every day, several times a day, and especially before bed.
To date or not to date? To have a boyfriend/girlfriend or not to have one? What is God’s view on dating (and boyfriends and girlfriends) and what does the Bible have to say about all of this?
From Genesis to Revelation, you see three (3) types of
(romantic) relationships: Single, engaged (also known as betrothed), and
married. We do not see dating in scripture or anything like it. The only place
where we see something similar to dating mentioned is in John 4:18 when Jesus
was talking to the Samaritan woman and He told her that the man she was with
now was not her husband – it was exposure and a rebuke for being with someone
she wasn’t married to.
Some might argue that in that time period and culture, things were different, so dating was not at all acceptable. That’s true, however, when you read the word of God and see God’s standards for how we should live in our bodies, how we should relate to and treat one another, and the topic of sexual immorality, it points to a Kingdom culture and standard that debunks dating as we know it today.
A few years ago, I wrote a post titled I Believe God Told Me Who My Husband Is, about what to do when you think God has shown you who your husband will be and how to discern if it’s just your flesh. The post has gotten a lot of traffic, many comments and I have received many emails with stories and questions. I’ve gone through some of the comments and have heard many stories from different people about this topic, some good, some not so good. This is a topic that isn’t talked about much but so many people (males and females) go through it and don’t quite know what to do. In this post, I will tackle a few more commonly asked questions and situations that I have come across. I pray that it brings even greater clarity and it helps many discern if their flesh has been deceiving them. Continue reading
My heart breaks to see so many women (and men) of God go in and out of bad relationships that leave them broken and confused. I hear so many stories of people of God going from relationship to relationship and getting the same outcome that the world gets in their relationships. I believe that as people of God we have an advantage that the world does not have, and we can easily avoid getting into these situations. We serve a God that knows all and sees all. He knows the deepest things of our heart that even we don’t know, and He sees what is truly in every person’s heart. Our God is more than capable of forewarning us about someone before we enter a relationship with them or simply telling us that we are not ready. Continue reading
Last week I got the chance to be a guest speaker on Right to R.E.A.L. Love Podcast, I spoke on the topic of ‘God’s Purpose For Relationships.’ I believe it’s so important to know God’s purpose for bringing two people together in marriage and His purpose for establishing relationships altogether. Sometimes we want something, but we don’t know God’s intended purpose for that thing. And when we don’t know the purpose of something it’s easy to misuse and abuse it. Continue reading
I often get a lot of emails from women asking me questions along the lines of “what do I do while I’m single and waiting for God to bring my husband?” These questions are often from women who have recently decided to stop dating and are now waiting on God concerning a spouse and/or those who want a quick fix way to God releasing their husband to them. Some of the questions are from those who genuinely want to honor God through their singleness and others from those who may just want to find answers to quickly end their singleness in a “godly” way. Continue reading
I always pray and seek God before choosing a topic for my blog posts each month. God always confirms what He wants me to post about by giving me peace about it in my spirit and/or allowing me to hear the same topic somewhere else. This month as I was praying to God about what to post next, I wasn’t completely sure what the post would be about, but I had full assurance God would show me as He always does. I don’t like to randomly pick topics; my aim is to be led by God because I know that real people, with real lives and real problems, read this blog and they need real spiritual encouragement. So one night, I prayed a simple prayer for God to give me what to post next, then I went to sleep. To my surprise, I had a dream that very night. Continue reading
June is a very special month for my husband and I, it was 5 years ago this month that he called me to tell me I was his wife (June 12, 2012), this is the month we got married 3 years ago (June 28, 2014) and it’s also my birthday month (June 20th). So, to celebrate and in honor of our 3rd year anniversary, I decided to do a blog post on relationships this month. Continue reading
Growing up I was very quiet and shy, I didn’t have a lot of friends, I was never popular and was talked about a lot by my peers. I’ve been a pastor’s kid all my life so I was always told as a child to watch what I do and say because people (church people) were always watching and I, along with my siblings, had to set a good example at all times. Due to all of these factors (and others), fear gripped me at a young age. Continue reading
Ever since I’ve written my two most popular blog posts, My Waiting on God Testimony and I Believe God Told Me Who My Husband Is, I’ve gotten so many comments and emails from you all asking questions about my process and advice for those going through similar situations. Since I get asked the same kinds of questions, I thought I should go ahead and do a FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) post. Continue reading